Heading to the Hall O' Fame!

I got the news that I am being inducted into Canada's Sports Hall Of Fame about a month ago, but I had to keep it a secret. It was hard.

When I phoned to tell my mom on the morning it got released, I think she thought that Kristin and I were having a baby because the conversation went something like this:

Kyle: "Hey Mom. How's it going?"

Mom: "Good Honey. How are you?"

Kyle: "I'm fine. Thanks. Hey, I have some news I want to share with you. I've had to keep it a secret for a little while, but it's OK to tell you now..."

Mom (in a concerned voice, almost bracing herself for a life changing moment): "OK. What is it?"

Kyle: "I'm being inducted into Canada's Sports Hall Of Fame!"

Mom (in a relieved, phew kind of voice): "Oh WOW! That's AWESOME! Congratulations sweetheart. You deserve it!"

It was fun to deliver the news (And no need to worry Ma, there will be no babies in the near future!).

Being inducted into the CSHOF is awesome! I am super excited about it, and there are 3 reasons why it really means a lot to me:

1. It's a huge honour for my entire family. It's the first time for us:) Represent!

2. I am thrilled with the group that I am being inducted with. Clara Hughes and Chantal Petitclerc are 2 of my faves and I can't wait to celebrate with them. Woot woot!

3. This is HUGE for gymnastics. Lori Fung, 1984 Rythmic Gymnastics Olympic Champion, has already been inducted and I get to join her as the first Artistic Gymnast to be included. This is B.I.G for Gymnastics.

All of the ceremonies, formal proceedings and parties are happening in November in my home city, Calgary...that is a long time to wait! I have to keep reminding myself: Patience Kyle, patience; all good things happen in time.

After getting the news, I am also inspired to nominate my former coach, Kelly Manjak, because he deserves it just as much as I do! Maybe he will be a part of the group soon too.

It's always nice for your accomplishments to be recognized. It also creates a little nostalgia. Ahhhh, the good ol' days! I hope that I am able to sum up what the honour means to me in 2 minutes or less at the ceremonies! Better start writing that one right now:)

I'm really looking forward to November and becoming a member of Canada's Sports Hall Of Fame!

K.

Article courtesy of www.gymcan.org

Kyle Shewfelt is headed to Canada’s Sports Hall of Fame!

Posted Wednesday, May 5, 2010

A little more than two years after his last competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, Kyle Shewfelt and a star-studded group of five other athletes and two builders will be formally inducted to Canada’s Sports Hall of Fame at a ceremony on November 10th in Calgary.

Joining Kyle in the 2010 class of inductees are hockey star Patrick Roy, race car driver Jacques Villeneuve, wheelchair racer Chantal Petitclerc, speedskater Clara Hughes, freestyle skier Jean-Luc Brassard, Dr. Roger Jackson, a key figure in the Olympic movement as both an athlete and administrator and the late football legend Bob Ackles.

“It feels pretty damn good,” Kyle told the Toronto Star. “When I got the news, I was thrilled. And to see the group of people that I’m being inducted with, Clara and Chantal are two of my favourite people in the world. It’s a huge honour.”

News reports citing Kyle as Canada’s "first-ever gold medalist" in gymnastics were just slightly off the mark.

Kyle, in fact, is the only Canadian artistic gymnast to win a medal of any kind at the Olympics, an historic accomplishment that put Canada on the map in the gymnastics world in a way that it had never known before and sparked a new era in Canadian gymnastics.

Soon after Kyle’s thrilling gold-medal performance in the men’s floor exercise at the 2004 Olympics in Athens other Canadian artistic gymnasts made their own international breakthroughs: Brandon O’Neill won silver on floor at the 2005 world championships, joining Kyle, Curtis Hibbert and Alexander Jeltkov as the only Canadian men to win world championship medals.

In 2006, Elyse Hopfner-Hibbs, inspired by Kyle like every other member of the national team, became the first, and so far, only Canadian female gymnast to win a world championship medal, earning the bronze on balance beam.

At the same world championships in Arhus, Denmark, Kyle led the Canadian men’s team to its best ever finish on the world stage -- reaching the final for the first time and ultimately placing sixth among the superpowers of the sport, including Russia, China, Japan and the United States.

Since retiring after his remarkable comeback from two broken knees to compete at the Bejing Olympics, Kyle has remained active on the Canadian gymnastics scene as a commentator for CBC broadcasts and as a roving ambassador and spokesperson for Gymnastics Canada

Gymnastics Canada salutes Kyle for his tremendous contribution to gymnastics and his selection to the Sports Hall of Fame.

My thoughts on the Chinese age controversy

I was asked by a reporter to weigh in. Here is what I said:

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When something like this happens, I have mixed thoughts. I can see it from many different angles.

Firstly, I am happy that mistakes are being corrected. Fairness in sport is paramount. So that is good news.

But then I wonder if this is going to open a giant can of worms. It would not surprise me if there were other instances in the past where gymnasts ages have been falsified. If you can change the results of one competition, then does that mean its fair game to start digging for evidence to change all past mistakes?

I feel bad for the girls who competed; I wonder if they knew that their ages were falsified? I am pretty sure that they don't have to personally fill out the application forms like we do here in Canada. I think they have a team leader who does all of that paper work for them. The gymnasts job is to train and to focus on that. I wouldn't place blame on the athletes themselves.

Another argument could be; why does age even matter? If they were 14 and at a high enough level to make the team then why can't they compete? Platform Diving has a minimum age of 14. Gymnastics used to have a minimum age of 14. In fact, at the 1996 Olympics, Dominique Moceanu was 14 and no one said she was too young. I don't think Dom thought she was too young to compete at the Olympics either. Gymnastics is not a sport that sees a lot of female athletes peak in their late 20's. Maybe if the FIG really wants to make a statement then they could make the minimum age 18 or even 20 years old and then the safety of young athletes would really be the priority. But would gymnastics be the same? One of the allures of the sport is the fact that it's young people who are defying gravity. Would it be as appealing if everyone who was competing was old enough to drink a martini (in Alberta at least) after the competition? I know that some of the top girls in the world right now are 14 years old and the skills and routines they are performing are pretty close to what they will be aiming for in London 2012. Maybe making a rule that Junior age is U18 and Senior is over 18 would solve some problems?

I have also known of gymnasts who's birthdays were on the cusp of making the age requirement, but not quite close enough. I feel bad for the girl who has the potential to win in London 2012, but her 16th birthday is on January 1, 2013...one day too late. 4 years is a long time to wait and train for your Olympic moment in the world of gymnastics. And does that 1 day really make that big of a difference? I guess it does when you are getting your drivers licence so the same applies when it comes to doing release moves 10 feet above a bar! :)

I also had a question about the licences that the FIG will be issuing. How are they going to enforce the age on those? Gymnasts do not look their age. Canadian Olympian and a good friend of mine, Elyse Hopfner-Hibbs was legitimately 18 at the Olympics in 2008. She looked 12 (no offence Elyse). How will they ensure that passports and birth certificates are not being falsified when they apply for the licence?

Onto another debate, and it's one that is possibly a little selfish, but admittedly popped into my head after I heard the news: I also wonder if this opens the door to start asking questions about other results that may have been tainted. What about the vault controversy that I was involved in in Athens when Marian Dragalescu fell and got the bronze when I ended up 4th? For a second; I can't help but wonder if the judges mistakes on vault in 2004 can now be reversed? The evidence is there. The judges were sanctioned. The score that Marian Dragalescu received was mathematically impossible. Should we start fighting for that bronze medal again? Is there any hope to have the decision reversed? Or is it something that should be kept peacefully laid to rest?

About gymnastics reputation being tainted because of this controversy: I don't feel like this story will tarnish the reputation of the sport at all. Gymnastics will continue to be one of the most popular Olympic sports after all is said and done. I think gymnastics fans appreciate the sport because of its beauty, skill and athleticism and not just because of the medals that are awarded at the end of a competition. The general public only tunes in every 4 years for the Olympics and gymnastics is so captivating that it's hard not to watch. Gymnastics, in my opinion, is a sport that can withstand controversy. In fact, I think every sport has something controversial about it. Gymnastics will always be entertaining to watch because it's makes the seemingly impossible look easy. It doesn't matter who you are, gymnastics is simply awe inspiring.

In conclusion, I say Congratulations to the FIG and the IOC for doing the right thing and taking action. But I think the real question is: Where do we go from here? This was a ghost that was resurrected from the past...are they willing to deal with all of the other ones that might come creeping out? And what can we do moving forward to ensure that fairness and safety continue to prevail in the future?

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What are your thoughts?

Kyle

Right To Play TV

I did this interview during the Olympics in Vancouver!

Check it out:

http://righttoplaytv.com/video/watch/2qcbNVApenJ7zkWfP9qu4n

Win Some or Learn Some

I loved this!

From a post on Kristina Groves blog:

‘Dear Kristina, I would really love for you to win another medal, but please remember my motto – “Win some, or learn some” – inspired by the song, I’m yours, by Jason Mraz. Even if you “learn some”, you’ll always be a legend at Walter Lee. From a proud student, Candrika’

I'm a Luger!

Moving Makes Me Go Crazy (or Crazier!)

So I bought a new place. The process was like one of those scenes from a HGTV show where everything happens so fast that it's hard to keep up.

Summer 2009: I decide that I want to buy a new property closer to the action. I want to be within walking distance of pubs, coffee shops, grocery stores, yoga studios, parks, paths, restaurants, drug stores and lots of people.

And so my search begins...

Summer and Fall 2009: I look at more than 20 places...I find the building I want. But there are no units that I LOVE. And so I wait...

December 18, 11am: Email listing comes through on blackberry from my realtor as I'm boarding a plane on my way home from Toronto (Where I was speaking at a Special Olympics Breakfast and visiting my old coach, Kelly, and his family).

December 18th, 11:02am: I email the listing to Kristin to have a peek. She checks it out and calls back saying it looks perfect and it is exactly what I've seeking.

December 18th, 11:04am: I phone my realtor and leave a message asking to see the place that day.

I now have a flight from Toronto to Calgary to ponder my options. Of course, in my mind, I have already moved in...

December 18th: 1:00pm-ish: I get off the plane (4 hour flight plus time difference) and listen to my voicemail. We can see it tomorrow. Yes!

December 19th: We go and see the place at 2pm.

I walk in and it feels right. You know when you are buying real estate that when something feels right and you've looked at 20 places, then IT IS RIGHT!

We stay for 1.5 hours, looking at the parking stall and storage unit. It has everything I could ever want! And, many people don't know this, but my fave number is 6 and both the stall and locker are 6. How convenient!

I want to make an offer.

Sunday, December 20:

I make an offer. The sellers are located out of country so 48 hours is requested for response. And so I wait...

Monday, December 21: I get a counter. I don't like it, but I see where this is going...

Tuesday, December 22: They counter. Then I counter.

Tuesday night at 9pm while at a awesome Christmas party for my agency, Agenda Sport Marketing: I get a call. Deal accepted!

Tuesday night at 9:05pm: I have a beer in celebration!

Wednesday, December 23rd: I sign the papers.

Thursday, December 24th: Kristin and I leave for a 2 week vacation to Hawaii!!!

January 8th, 2010: We return from Hawaii and I get an email from a friend, Michelle, who knows that I bought a new place and she was wonders what I am doing with my old place.

I've tried not to think too much about it in Hawaii because I promised myself that I was going to give myself the gift of presence while away. I've gotta admit though, it crossed my mind often (shhhhh...don't tell Kristin...although I think she probably already knows - she is a secret spy/superhero when she is not designing kitchens :)).

I bought my place at the peak of the market in Calgary and if I sold then I would lose a lot of money on it. Selling = loss of money, potential 2 mortgages for longer than I am comfortable with, but on the plus side it equals no headaches when it's gone. I've also been considering renting, but I keep asking myself, "am I up for the task?".

Well, my friend tells me that she knows two girls who live in my building who want to have a look at my place if I am considering renting it.

Week of January 11th, 2010: My potential renters come over, check out my place and love it. They want to rent for a year starting March 1.

I become a landlord!

I am also reminded that sometimes life just works out perfectly. I love it when that happens.

January 26th, 2010: I get possession of my new place and it feels like home from the moment I get the keys.

Monday, February 8th, 2010: I move in!

But today is Saturday Feb.6th and I feel like I've gone mad! So many thoughts have been swarming around my head. I've been running around like a crazy dude. I keep forgetting stuff. I have lost my blackberry and keys about 10 times today! I need to tape my packing tape gun to my leg so I stop misplacing it! I am doing 10 things at once and I often start one thing and then another and then another and then another and then I forget what I started doing in the first place. I am so afraid of misplacing something or something breaking in the move. Is this normal? When did I become so paranoid? How the hell did I ever manage to do this in 2008, only 4 months before leaving for the Olympics. Wow!

I am really looking forward to having all of my stuff in my new place and being DONE!

Sometimes it's hard to enjoy the process...

But I've been very lucky. I've had so much awesome help in getting my old place packed and prepped for my renters and also in getting my new place ready for move in. I need to thank Kristin, Amba, Carol, Maurice and Michelle for all of their professional painting, toilet changing, cleaning, packing, space bagging, sorting, light changing, decision making and support! Thank you!!

I needed to write this so I could go to sleep. All of this was running through my brain and I just needed to get it out.

Stay tuned for new place updates...

And FYI, I am not getting Floors R Us to put in hardwood in this new place! Hahahaha! (refer back to April and May 2008 posts for a reminder of this escapade!)

Kyle

Olympic Torch Relay Pictures

These pictures are courtesy of my friend and colleague, Jenn Isbister. Thanks Jenn!

What an awesome night!

I'm Running The Olympic Torch, Baby!

My first Olympic experience that I can recall was in 1988 when the Games were held in my hometown of Calgary. I can remember being 5 years old, sitting in my kindergarten class and learning that we were going to have a chance to watch some of the speed skating training. It was a cool experience...cool as in 'awe inspiring', and cool as in 'I remember how freezing my toes were when we were watching these people with huge legs skate laps around and around the Olympic Oval'. C'mon, I was only 5 years old. Cold made me have to pee really bad! In fact, it still does....

Another memory I have of those Games was when my parents took my brother and I just outside of the city limits to a town called Airdrie to watch the Olympic Flame on it's journey into the city. I remember getting a red candle holder that symbolized the torch and I can still picture myself tromping around my parents kitchen afterwards pretending that I was an Olympic torch bearer.

Well folks; tonight, that childhood dream is coming true. I finally get my chance to carry the Olympic flame!

I have been doing a lot of thinking about why this is such a special occasion...that makes me tear up just thinking about it! What exactly does the Olympic Flame represent and why is this experience so important?

To me, the Olympic Flame represents humanity. It is a symbol of the entire world coming together in celebration of excellence. Together, we are one and we all have the potential to do extraordinary things. The Flame started in Greece many months ago and it has traveled across the world, igniting passion and togetherness in everyone that has had the chance to see it.

The Olympic flame represents dreams. There are many individuals who's dreams will be sparked or who's dreams will have a dose of fuel added to them after seeing the flame burn.

The Flame represents opportunity. Thousands of athletes around the globe have been training their lifetime for a single moment and a single chance...but we all know that, in the end, the journey is the where the BIG rewards are gained! I think the Olympic Flame is a reminder of that.

The Flame is a symbol of courage. To me, it yells, "Relentlessly pursue your dream! Never give up! Never stop believing that you can make a difference! You always have support! Be YOUR absolute best in every moment of every day"! Those are powerful messages and messages that flood through my mind when I see the flame being passed along, continually burning and always ignited.

Maybe the strongest message that I get from the Olympic Torch is the power of momentum. As the flame gets closer to Vancouver it seems as if there is more excitement and anticipation with every step. As the flame gets passed along the route, it gets one person closer to arriving in Vancouver and symbolizing the start of the Games. The countdown is on and I have faith that all of my fellow Canadian Olympians are getting into warrior mode and are ready to be at their best in less than a month!

I am beyond overwhelmed and honoured that I get a chance tonight to represent my family, my friends, my supporters, my community, my city, my province, my country and our world.

Who would have known that that little boy who dreamt of carrying the torch would go on to compete in 3 Olympic Games...and even win at one of them! I have a feeling that tonight is going to be an emotional, powerful and breath taking experience in so many ways. I have invited a ton of people to come and share in the magic of tonight. I can't wait to run, smile, dance, high five and celebrate the Olympic Spirit and Canada!

Here are the details of my run if you are able to make it:

When: 6:07pm

Where: 17th Avenue SE starting at Macleod Trail and ending at Centre Street in Calgary

...or you can watch it all online at: http://www.ctvolympics.ca/torch/follow-torch/index.html

Wish me luck! Tonight's going to be AWESOME!

Go Canada Go!

Kyle

100 Days Out - Vancouver 2010 : My Advice To Canada's Athletes

Holy Crap! Only 100 more days and we are going to be having a PARTY in Canada! It's hard to believe that in 100 more days, all of the build up and hype will be unfolding right before our eyes. What stories will be told? Who will have their Olympic dream come true? Who will see their Olympic dreams dashed? What will be THE story of the Games? There are so many answers that will start to be revealed in only 100 days...I can't wait!

Being an athlete that got to live in the experience of a few "100 days out from the Olympics", I wanted to write a blog to give a little advice to my fellow Olympians preparing for the BIG show in Vancouver...that are only 100 days away:) (I wonder how many times I will say that in this post and still look at it and think it looks weird? 100 days...yup, still weird).

My first piece of advice: You are feeling what you are feeling because you really care.

If you have been doing everything right, then 100 days should make you excited...and it should also scare the crap out of you. It should make you excited because it's been the biggest event on your horizon for years. It's kind of like Christmas for a 5 year old. On the other hand, or on the same page, whatever way you choose to look at it, it should scare the crap out of you because it's been the biggest event on your horizon for years! You've invested your life into it. It really matters to you. What I've learned is that things are a little scary (or a lot scary) when you really care about them. Trust that your fear is actually a sign that this is important to you and totally worth it.

I don't know what it is about the 100 day out mark that makes everything seem so much more real. It might be the fact that tomorrow the countdown will be in double digits and, like that cute little boy on the Disney commercial who is "too excited to sleep", visions of the 'real' thing happening are probably running through your mind when you are trying to get some rest. I will tell you that for 100 days before I competed in Athens, every night I dreamt about standing on the podium...

Next piece of advice: BE who you want to become starting right NOW.

Every breath you have taken leading up to this point has been one breath closer to the Games, but now, for some odd reason, it seems like each breath counts and matters just a wee bit more. And I'll tell ya, be aware of that and use it to your advantage. With each breath you take, make sure it is one that exudes confidence, and carries you forward exactly the way you want to be when you step into your event in Vancouver. Start putting yourself in those pressure situations NOW so that when you are there and it's the real deal, it will just feel like another competition day.

More Advice: Journal. Journal. Journal.

One thing that I loved to do about 3 months out of any big competition was to start a journal. I would record thoughts, feelings, training plans, frustrations, celebrations and various other things that flooded on to the page. I did this for a few reasons. 1: It held me accountable. You don't lie to yourself in your own journal. Why would you? 2: It gave me confidence to look back and see the work I'd done. On those days when things just weren't falling in to place the way I had hoped, my entries reminded me that this was just one bad day that was preceded by 10 great ones. It gave me great perspective. 3: It was so awesome to vent. Sometimes all you have to do is write out your problems and they disappear. 4: It made me reflect and was almost like meditation. I would write small cues that I needed to think of while doing my routines and the more I wrote them, the more I started to apply them in training. 5: Every day at the top of the page I would write how many days were left until my event and it was a constant reminder to make that day count.

The most diligent I had ever been with a journal was in 2003 before the World Championships. I wrote in it 2 times a day, every day. I literally saw my gymnastics transform while going through the journaling process.

Next piece of advice: Enter Warrior Mode.

100 days before the Games is your chance to turn on that inner warrior. This is your time to be selfish. This is your time to do everything you can possibly do in order to look back on that day you compete and have NO regrets. Eat right. Think right. Sleep right. Picture yourself having your best performance. Say no to beer. Say no to late nights. Say no to procrastination. Start being more focused on a daily basis. Start saying no to interviews and photo shoots if they don't fit into your training schedule (in fact, allot time slots that are dedicated solely to media and that is the only time they can hear your wisdom). Start a blog to share your thoughts. Start video taping your training and watching it back and pretending you are watching the Olympic Champion train! Be picky and correct your mistakes. Imagine the possibilities. Embrace the barfing feeling you get when you think of competition day...I guarantee you that you will feel it on competition day so you may as well start realizing that it will be your sign that you are going to give it everything you have.

I heard something the other day that really stood out to me. Someone said that you never want to look back on a moment and wish you could have done a little more. So don't even make that an option. Give it your all!

Next piece of advice: Realize that you are a weirdo, but an inspiring one!

100 days out can become a precarious time dealing with friends and family who are not immersed in the warrior like state of preparing to win the Olympics. Unless they have been in your position, they just don't get it. I have to tell you, in everyone elses eyes, you are an inspiring weirdo. How can you be so singularly focused on ONE thing? Guess what? That is why you are going to the Olympics and they aren't. Friends and family are very important, mine were always my biggest supporters, but in these last 100 days they need to realize that your priority is your preparation and sometimes they are going to have to take a back seat...those that know you and love you will understand when you get frustrated over a stupid little thing. This is the most intense time of your life and all of your senses are heightened. I would give everyone a little heads up and tell them that you'll be back to your "normal" self when your mission of "being the best in the world" is complete. They'll understand.

Next piece of advice: Take some time to give back.

Yes, I know I have been advocating selfishness thus far, but it's very important to balance that with a little giving back. They say that the secret to living is giving. Allot a little time to a charity project, to a school visit or to a fundraiser. Doing good things for others is fuel for our well-beings. This will also help you stay connected to the community and make you feel empowered when you realize how much support Canadians are sending your way! Bad days in sport don't really seem all that bad when you see someone who hasn't eaten in a couple of days. True story. It will make you appreciate your position as a Canadian athlete a lot more, that's for sure.

More advice: When someone asks you if you are ready for the Games (and they will!!!), use this answer:

"I'm not ready today, I won't be ready tomorrow, but I will be at my best on ___________ (insert your competition day here), the day when being ready really matters". And when you say it, smile with your eyes and really believe it. They'll shut up.

I found it quite funny after I won in Athens because some people called it a fluke. Some said that I got lucky because I had a stellar routine that day. What they didn't realize was that I had planned, for 16 years of my life, to have a STELLAR routine on that day, at that time, in that exact circumstance.


And, my final piece of advice for athletes heading in to Vancouver in 100 days: Realize that expectation is earned.

People don't expect great things from those who aren't capable of achieving them. In a weird way, we earn expectation. The Nation is expecting great things from you because you have proven that you are capable of GREATNESS! Turn expectation into a positive and believe in your own potential. Who cares what other people think anyways, what's really important is whether or not you have that expectation for yourself!


And there you have it. A little advice for my fellow Olympians. I hope some of it comes in handy!



As the days pass and we come closer and closer to these Vancouver 2010 Games materializing, I wanted to wish all of Canada's athletes a safe and brilliant preparation. I, along with millions of Canadians, am sending you good vibes and can't wait to see it all unfold starting in 100 days!

Kyle

Right To Play in Surrey

I have been up to a lot of fun things since I last posted. I've done a ton of speaking gigs and events and the most recent one is happening right now in Surrey. I'm here to do a week and a half of school visits for one of my favourite Charities, Right To Play.

I've already done one week of the project and it was intense. I did 15 school presentations in 5 days. It has been an awesome experience and although I am sick of hearing myself speak, I know that an impact is being made.

On Thursday last week, Adam Kreek, Anna Rice and myself did a BIG presentation to officially kick off the initiative.

Here's some photo's.

Enjoy!

Kyle

(Photo's are courtesy of Rick Chapman and the City Of Surrey)

Great Motivational Video

The Parable of the Trapeze

A friend sent this parable to me after I posted my facebook status as: "Some days, I feel like life is perfect. Other days, I get an overwhelming feeling that I am free falling and my parachute just might not open. Can anyone relate?"

It really hit home. I feel a lot like I am free falling right now, desperately searching for that new "thing" that will fuel my passion (what is my passion??) and give me a tremendous sense of purpose (what is my purpose??). I am feeling a lot of doubt, uncertainty and confusion lately. Who am I? What do I want?? What kind of life do I want to create? What will be my legacy? What is holding me back? What is propelling me forward? Why do I feel dissatisfied? Why do I feel satisfied? Where are my pecs disappearing too?

I have a lot of grumble that is constantly ping ponging through my head and it's driving me a little nuts.

What I am trying to convince myself of is that I am growing and evolving during this "transition" process and that I NEED to go through this time in order to figure it all out...in fact, if my search has taught me anything, it's that as soon as you think you have it all figured out then you no longer have it figured out.

I hope you enjoy this parable as much as I did.

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The Parable of the Trapeze


Sometimes I feel like my life is a series of trapeze swings. I’m either hanging on to a trapeze bar swinging along or, for a few moments in my life I’m hurtling across space in between trapeze bars.

Most of the time, I spend hanging on for dear life to my trapeze-bar-of-the-moment.

It carries me along at a certain steady rate of swing and I have the feeling that I’m in control of my life. I know most of the right questions and even some of the answers.

But, every once in awhile as I’m merrily (or even not so merrily) swinging along, I look out ahead of me in the distance and what do I see? I see another trapeze bar swinging toward me. It’s empty and I know, in that place in me that knows, that this new trapeze bar has my name on it. It is my next step, my growth, my aliveness coming to get me. In my heart-of-hearts I know that for me to grow, I must release my grip on this present, well-known bar and move to the new one.

Each time it happens to me I hope (no, I pray) that I won’t have to let go of my old bar completely before I grab the new one. But in my knowing place, I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar and, for some moment in time, I must hurtle across space before I can grab onto the new bar.

Each time, I am filled with terror. It doesn’t matter that in all my previous hurtles across the void of unknowing I have always made it. I am each time afraid that I will miss, that I will be crushed on unseen rocks in the bottomless chasm between bars. I do it anyway. Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call the faith experience. No guarantees, no net, no insurance policy, but you do it anyway because somehow to keep hanging on to that old bar is no longer on the list of alternatives. So, for an eternity that can last a microsecond or a thousand lifetimes, I soar across the dark void of “the past is gone, the future is not yet here.” It’s called “transition”. I have come to believe that this transition is the only place that real change occurs. I mean real change, not the pseudo-change that lasts only until the next time my old buttons get punched.

I have noticed that, in our culture, this transition zone is looked upon as a “no-thing”, a no-place between places. Sure, the old trapeze bar was real, and that new one that’s coming towards me, I hope it’s real, too. But that void in between? Is that just a scary, confusing, disorienting nowhere that must be gotten through as fast and as unconsciously as possible?

No! What a wasted opportunity that would be. I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is the only real thing and the bars are illusions we dream up to avoid the void where real change, the real growth, occurs for us. Whether or not my hunch is true, it remains that the transition zones in our lives are incredibly rich places. They should be honoured, even savored. Yes, with all the pain and fear and feelings of being out of control that can (but not necessarily) accompany transitions, they are still the most alive, most growth-filled, passionate, expansive moments of our lives.

So, transformation of fear may have nothing to do with making fear go away but rather with giving ourselves permission to “hang-out” in the transition between trapezes. Transforming our need to grab that new bar, any bar, is allowing ourselves to dwell in the only place where change really happens. It can be terrifying. It can also be enlightening in the true sense of the word. Hurtling through the void, we just may learn how to fly.

- Danaan Parry

KidSport PSA

One of my favourite Charities is KidSport. I have done a lot of awesome work with them and hope that I can continue to be heavily involved in the future.

I recently filmed a television and radio campaign for KidSport AB. Check it out here.

Being involved in sport is so important for today's youth. It gets them active, gives them a sense of purpose and passion, creates direction, teaches important life skills and transcends into all facets of their lives. Youth who are involved in sport are more engaged in life and usually continue to be active well into their adult years.

Unfortunately, some families can not afford to participate in sports. That's where KidSport comes in. They provide financial support to families so that everyone can be involved in their sport of choice.

For more info and to get involved in your community contact www.kidsport.ca.





Kyle

August 9, 2008 *Lost Post*

It's long over due. A year, in fact.

In honour of today being the one year anniversary of the day we competed in Beijing, I thought that I would post something that I promised, but never delivered.

This post is not complete. I tried many times to finish it with no success. I can remember spending many evenings in Beijing feeling like I should be finishing this off, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. There were even days when I was home from the Olympics and had nothing to do, but the last thing I wanted to do was to relive my Olympic experience. I needed a break from it.

I'm not too sure why I couldn't finish it and I guess it doesn't really matter, does it? If I really wanted to be analytical, I'm sure I could come up with some deep rooted meaning that my avoidance revealed. But when it all comes down to it, I think I just needed some time away from being reflective and trying to dissect everything. And as time passed from this experience, it felt more and more distant and less and less pressing to get this blog complete.

When I read it back recently, there were a few times when I got chills and my bottom lip started to quiver. It brought me right back to the moment...and it was a very special one in my life. One that I will indeed remember forever.

I hope you enjoy it.


____________________________________________________________________



August 9th, 2008:

I woke up on this Saturday morning and I was pleasantly surprised that I had slept better than expected. I didn't toss and turn all night as I originally planned, in fact I did quite the opposite. I slept like a rock.

You know that moment in the morning when you open your eyes for the first time and your brain does the quick run through of your day? Usually it's like, "OK, time to get up and get into the shower, but before that I need to have a quick coffee and see what's new and exciting in my email. Hmmm...how much time do I have? Did I remember to set the automatic timer on the brew? Oh yeah, I did, I can smell it. OK, so what is the most important task that I need to get done today? Was there anything that I thought of last night that I needed to do? I should have wrote that thought down. Damn...what was it??? What are my dinner plans? Do I need to take something out of the freezer?".

I'm sure you all can relate.

Well, this morning, I woke up and the first thought that went through my mind was, "Holy s---, we compete at the Olympics today!!!!". I said it out loud and Nathan mumbled, "Wuh you say?" and he rolled over in his bed and put the covers over his head (little bugger always needs an extra 15 minutes). When this thought went through my mind, my heart started to thump in my chest and I got a huge lump in my throat. This was the actual day. How exciting!!!

Our team did a light morning jog outside (this was the most humid day yet and after 10 minutes I thought that I was going to overheat) and then we went in to the Canadian Wellness Centre and did some stretching and conditioning. The rooms were definitely way too small for us to limber up, but we kind of squished each other and made the most of it.

After the morning stretch it was time to start getting into the zone. Olympic time, baby!

I ate my customary competition day bowl of Brown Sugar Frosted Mini Wheats (General Mills is a sponsor of team Canada here, but I brought a box of Mini Wheats from home because they equal total comfort for me on competition day) and had an awesome French press coffee in the Canadian athletes lounge (which is way easier and less stressful than fighting off crazy and pushy java addicts at McCafe in the dining hall).

After breakfast, I retired to my room and started to write out my competition plan and key words that I was going to use during my warm up and routines that afternoon.

We were catching the 1:50pm bus over to the gym so I planned that I would shower around noon, get all of my crap together and then head over to the dining hall to eat lunch and head to the bus from there (the less walking the better!) .

I couldn't believe how fast the morning went by. Before I knew it, it was 12:50pm and I needed to get some food in my belly. So off I went to the dining hall, dropped off my gym bag and headed in for some pre-competition fuel.

As it turns out, I wasn't that hungry. I never am on competition day. I just kind of picked through my food and took random bites here and there. I actually prefer to eat by myself on comp days because then I can be all 'competition day' weird and anti-social without feeling bad, but on this day we had a small group eating together so I kept my head down for the most part and imagined myself doing my routines in my salad...which was very interesting (It kind of looked like a cool salad dressing commercial).


WARM UP



When we got to the gym the aura was intense, much more intense than podium training had been. Everyone had put on their serious face and you could cut the tension with a knife. This is something that I both love and hate. I could sense that a lot of athletes were feeling incredible amounts of pressure which makes me a bit nervous, but it was encouraging for me on the same page because I have always thrived in pressure situations.

When I warmed up I just followed my plan. I ran, stretched and did a bit of conditioning. Then I went to floor and did some basic tumbling. It felt great. Inside I smiled, but on the outside I tried to act nonchalant, casual and relaxed. Sometimes as an athlete you can just tell when you are going to have a good day, and for me this was one of them.


After basic tumbling, I went to vault. In my plan I just wanted to do one simple layout in the warm up gym in order to get a feeling, but not waste energy that I would need in the competition. After doing 1 vault that felt great, I moved to highbar.

Highbar warm up wasn't as phenomenal as I had planned, but I knew that it was just warm up and by the time I actually got to that apparatus in 2 hours time to compete I would be in a totally different head space. Sometimes you have to just accept that your warm up was a little off. You can't stress about it and you just have to keep reminding yourself that when it's time to actually hit your routine then you will be fine.

The second to last event that I warmed up was floor. My plan was to do one of each pass and it went well. I felt fast and smooth on my tumbling and I nailed everything.

The last event that I warmed up was rings, which was our first competition event. I think that the moment I put on my rings grips was the time when it actually set in that I was competing. I looked at the clock and it was 3:41pm. Competition started at 4pm. The countdown was on.

I can remember writing about the time line being 7 months away. I can even remember it being 33 days away, but now, at this point in warm up, I only had 19 minutes left. Whoa. I kept telling myself to take deep breaths. I'm ready. In 19 minutes I needed to unleash the gymnastics beast that I have been harboring inside of me for the past 11 months of preparation!

The moments before Olympic competition are the scariest and most exciting times an athlete can ever experience. You almost see all of your preparation flash before your eyes. You know that regardless of how scared you are you have to go out there and compete. A part of you just wants to turn around and book it out of there, but there is another part that wants to get right into the thick of things. This is where my brain was at. I just wanted to get out there and hit 4 routines...if I didn't decide to run away first!

Warm up ended at 3:50. This gave us exactly 10 minutes to sit there, wait and drive ourselves crazy with anticipation! haha. I tried to get deep into my competition zone and visualize myself hitting my first routine perfectly. The adrenaline was definitely pumping through my veins and my hands wouldn't stop vibrating.

COMPETITION

We started on rings. All I wanted to do was to hold my strength parts and swing cleanly for my team. It was my job to start things off right and I knew this would be my role since we started our model trainings. I had tried so hard to make the model trainings feel like the Olympics and now I found myself standing there, waiting to go, and trying really hard to make the Olympics feel like a model training! Funny how that works.

After my quick 30 second warm up, I always turn my back away from the judges and apparatus and try to get centered and in control of my pitter-pattering heart and shaky hands. I take deep breaths, and each time I breathe in I remind myself of my readiness. I try to be as confident, powerful and positive as possible in that moment. I find that this sets me up well for the 'imminent deadline'...the moment the warm up is over and it's time for me to get the party started!

As the quick "one touch" warm up ended, the head judge raised his hand. It was go time.

-Rings-

As Tony lifted me to the rings, I felt very focused.

My routine was a constant counting fest. Back uprise planche - 1, 2, 3. Cross - 1, 2, 3. L-sit - 1, 2, 3. Handstand - 1, 2, 3. Giant - 1, 2, 3. Yamawake, Inlocate, Backuprise Straddle L, point your toes - 1, 2, 3. Press - 1, 2, 3. Giant, hold on to it - 1, 2, 3. Dismount, knees up, see the ground, on my feet, hell yeah!

I did my job. I led the team off and I went through cleanly. I felt a huge sense of confidence and relief come over me. One down, 3 to go.

All of the other guys hit and we moved to vault.

-Vault-

I had been debating whether or not I would compete 2 vaults here. I didn't have much time during the preparation phase to work on my second vault so it was a hard decision to make. Before the competition, Tony and I decided that I would do an easier second vault, but put my focus on nailing the first one for the team.

Before it was my turn to go I stood at the end of the vault and had one thought on my mind, I wanted to take one small hop forward.

I ran down -with that damn little camera chasing me again- and felt awesome off of the horse. I had a great block, felt tight in my twist and I knew exactly where I was. I felt the ground beneath my feet and I nailed it. This was one of those Olympic moments you dream of. I couldn't have done this vault any better. It felt amazing! To put it into perspective, in my lifetime I have probably stuck about 100 of those, but only 1 in competition at the 2003 World Championships. Sticking in Olympic competition is the greatest feeling because you know that you couldn't have left the judges with a better impression. You feel like a rock star! It's almost like you're daring them to deduct you. In order to stick on vault you need to be in the absolutely perfect position and I was. To me, this was a moment where it felt like the stars aligned. This was comparable to the feeling I got in Athens when I stuck my dismount. For a few seconds, life was perfect. It couldn't have been better. If I could bottle up that moment and sell it then I would be a zillionaire!

I watched this vault back on the slow mow and at the end of it I noticed myself say (with a little cheekiness), "Yes". I don't remember saying it, but it was fueled by redemption, confidence, pride and excitement all rolled into one. I have done so many vaults in my lifetime, but I am going to remember this one forever.

-Highbar-


After the guys were done racking up mad points on pbars, the team headed to my next event, highbar.

I have to admit, this routine was scary for me. I think back to it and I don't remember doing it for the life of me. I turned my brain off. Before the routine I was thinking too much so I just shut er' down and let my body go through the motions that it has done so many times before. The only thing that I really remember was that I was a little far on my def, but I caught on my finger tips (which also made my heart jump out of my chest!) - and just to let you know, this was the skill that I was having dreams of missing. I have to confess that I only missed one of these in the past 2 months and I started to think that eventually I was going to miss again- thank goodness it wasn't in competition because that would have really sucked!

-Floor-


After highbar, it was time for floor.

My mind was racing. I just wanted to do so well. I didn't want to think too much, I just wanted to be present and to do the routine that I knew I was capable of. I could feel the pressure. I could feel the anticipation. I could feel the expectation, but the only thing that I could control was my performance and so I tried my best to focus on that and only that.

After our warm up I tried to venture into my own little world. I stared at the floor and blocked out every noise possible. I could hear the crowd roar when China went, but I pretended that it was for team Canada and it was just part of the flow. My heart was thumping in my chest. My mouth was dry. My brain was racing, but I was able to control it. My legs felt strong, but equally weak.

After Nathan finished his routine it was my turn to go. Kyle = mission man. I think I am a little scary in the moments before I compete. Cracking a smile is impossible. My teeth chatter with anticipation, my eyes basically become crossed with intensity, energy rushes through every ounce of me. Time almost slows. You need to be so ultra focused. And I was.

I stepped up to the podium and took a deep breath. The green light came on and it was time to compete.

I saluted the judge and reminded myself that this was the moment that I had been preparing for. I was ready.

My first pass was a blur. All I could think during the skill was "bend your legs on landing"!

Second pass: smooth as butter.

Third pass: I was talking to myself the whole time. "Whip, 2.5 -you're good, you're good!, Rudi. Sweet!"

Fourth pass: Super clean form and roll out.

I was on overdrive. You move so much quicker in Olympic competition than you ever do in training. I had tons of time left in my routine at this point to show off some of the smaller details.

Fifth pass: Solid. Great artistry!

Before my final pass I had a plan. If I had some time left to stand in the corner and breathe then I was going to go for a double twisting double back rather than the full twisting one that I had been doing in training. As it turns out, I had some extra time so I focused in on the corner of the floor and pumped myself up. I heard the buzzer go which signaled that I had 10 seconds left...

I ran with all my might and pulled off the double double with a step to the side.

I was ecstatic! This routine was the best one that I had done in the entire preparation process. I felt incredibly satisfied.

* I feel it's important to let everyone in on a couple of secrets about this routine. Looking back on the routine right now I have to chuckle because it really was equivalent to the best that I had ever done.

Firstly, My first pass was the 7th one that I had done without a softer landing mat. I did my first one without a mat about 5 days in to arriving in Beijing. It was one of the scariest things that I have ever done, but the relief and satisfaction that I felt when I landed it cleanly were tremendous. I knew deep down that it would come down to this, minimal attempts without a mat, but I knew that I would also be mentally strong enough to handle it.

Secondly, my fourth pass in my actual routine was only the second one that I had done without a softer mat...EVER! I was tempting fate for sure, but I knew that I needed this pass to get a high enough start value to challenge. I learned this pass at the beginning of June and then added it to my routine during our first trial in Edmonton. I have to be honest, my first attempt at this skill without a mat was during our podium training. It weighed on my mind that day, but I knew it wouldn't be a problem during the actual competition day because of the "floating" factor one feels when they compete. It's almost as if you have an out of body experience and you are so ultra focused that nothing can stand in your way.

Thirdly, the double twisting double back was the very first one that I had ever done at the end of the routine that I performed in Beijing. I'm crazy like that. I have always been. My old coach, Kelly, reminded me that when I was younger I used to always throw harder dismounts in competition, but that I always managed to do them cleanly. I guess I felt like I needed to lay it all on the line. If I was going to try and make finals then I would need to do the hardest routine that I was capable of. If I would have done a full twisting double back then I would be down .1 in start value and that could have made the difference. I had done a few double doubles in training at home, but I did a couple during the training here and they felt really good. I knew that I had this skill in my back pocket and I guess I kind of subconsciously decided a few days before the competition that I was going to do this...I just didn't tell anyone.

So there you have it...a couple of small victories secretly embedded into a large one*

After my floor routine, I came off of the podium and couldn't find Susan (my physio) fast enough!

We had had a physio session the night before the competition and I broke down a little bit. It was so overwhelming to think of the journey that had gotten me to this point. I knew that I wouldn't be focusing on this emotional stuff during the competition day so I kind of let my guard down the night before and thanked Susan for everything that she had done to get me to this point. I had many dreams during rehab about the moment when I stepped off of the floor and she was the one that I imagined myself sharing this very special moment with. This, for me, was one of those deja-vu-Ah ha moments you experience when the world seems like it is spinning just as it was intended to.

I was pretty tired after my routine, but I was also very excited and proud. I had done my job and that was all that I could do. I impatiently waited for the score...

As 15.525 came up on the score board I was a little shocked. I expected more for my efforts. I guess I was in a little bit of ecstasy and I was really focused on all of the positive vibes that my brain and body were evoking. I thought that I had done better than that. I felt like my routine was worth atleast a little bit more. But, on the same page, I was happy. I knew that I couldn't go back out there and show it again. I knew that I had risen to the occasion as best I could and I needed to be content with that. Inside, I had a glimmer of hope that this score would hold up and carry me to the finals, but I also knew that there were still some really good guys still left to come and that my chances were slim.

It is so crazy how you can go from the highest of highs and then have your euphoric dream crushed a little bit in an instant...and by something you have absolutely no control over.

* Another side note: Looking back at my routine, the hops and steps that I took were definitely costly. I thought that my first pass had only a small hop, but it was pretty large. The side step that I took on my dismount was pretty big as well. I think those were the deciding factors. Of course, you can't look back and change the past, and I don't think I would, but it just sucks to know that you did your absolute best and it wasn't quite good enough in the judges eyes! *

After floor, I watched my team nail there pommel horse routines one by one. As each guy came off with a hit routine, the energy was infectious. You could see the relief in everyone's eyes when it was all over. We did our jobs.

It's a little sad to look back on this moment because this was the pinnacle of what we had been working towards. We put so many hours, so many routines and so much heart into this competition. We spent the past few months together every single day, working towards this exact moment, and it was impossible to make it's existence infinite. Why couldn't we have just pushed the pause button on the world and shared in the victories together for a little longer than 2 mins? haha. I think we did a pretty good job of capturing the moment and sealing it in our minds forever, but I think it would be so awesome to have the opportunity to revisit that exact moment, with all of the sights, smells and sounds, for just another moment. It was very rewarding and relieving all at the same time.


____________________________________________________________________



And that is where it ended.

Of course, I have grown a lot in the last year and realized that this Olympics was a true victory for me as an individual and for the team. I wouldn't change a thing. In fact, I am learning more and more that this was exactly the way that things were supposed to turn out.

What I have learned in the past year about the value of personal victory vs the value placed on an Olympic medal is incredible. It's not a MEDAL that makes you successful or victorious...and that has taken me a long time to wrap my head around and accept. But now that I have, I feel very liberated and free. You are a champion for many more reasons than just being THE best. You are a champion for being YOUR best.

I have been through an incredibly emotional journey over the past year since Beijing. I feel like I have been in a bit of a free fall, trying to figure out exactly what my experiences have meant, who I am and what life has to offer without competitive sport being the driving force behind everything I do.

Some days are brilliant; full of possibilities and optimism. Other days are dark and very much controlled by a feeling of emptiness and filled with questions of what comes next.

Moving forward, I am going to make a diligent effort to continue being real on my blog. I want to continue writing because it's something I love. And a year after competing in my last Olympic Games seems like a really good time to start being analytical, reflective and open about my personal experiences once again.



Happy One Year Anniversary, Beijing! Thanks for the memories and the lessons!

Kyle

Canadian Gymnastics Championships Wrap Up