Based on my past Olympic experiences, I should have known that this would happen. My legs are dead. And I'm blaming the walking.
It's crazy how a little bit of extra walking can add up and start taking it's toll on your legs. Here is a run down of my day:
Get up, WALK to the dining hall - 5 minutes
WALK back to the residences - 5 minutes
WALK to the buses - 5 minutes
Train
WALK to the dining centre for lunch - 3 minutes
WALK back to the residences - 5 minutes
WALK to the Internet zone - 1 minute
WALK to the dining hall for a pre-second training coffee - 5 minutes
WALK to the bus - 3 minutes
Train
WALK to the dining hall - 3 minutes
WALK back to the residences - 5 minutes
Physio
WALK to the Internet - 1 minute
Fight off sleep for as long as possible and then crash.
So, by my calculations, that is more than 30 minutes of walking a day that I am not used to. I usually take the elevator down to my car, drive to the University and walk 30 seconds into the gym. Can you say spoiled brat?!
I feel like such a pussy complaining about the walking, but it happens to me every time I am at a Games. My legs start to feel the effects of the extra steps and it takes a little while to adapt.
I think another reason why my legs are killing me is because of all of the hard landings that I have been doing in the gym. At big competitions like this, the new equipment is hard and the landings are harder. You don't get an 8 inch squishy mat to cushion your landing. They have some extra mats laying around, but they don't compare to the soft ones we have at home. My legs haven't had the pounding that they are taking here in a while...and last time they did they weren't metallic! I do have a little fear each time I land because I don't want to take anything for granted, but each time I land successfully then I get more confident and trusting.
Yesterday we trained in the competition warm up hall and it was a little bit of a gong show. I attribute it to being jet lagged, wanting to feel great, but not being fully adjusted to the equipment and environment. I was a little disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to be more 'on', but I also gave myself some slack because it was only our second day here.
Today was better. I still don't feel like my brain and body are quite aligned with Beijing, but I was able to get through pretty much everything unscathed...except for floor. Floor today was a hideous splat fest. Awesome! I kind of expected it when my legs were aching and burning this afternoon so I can't say I am too disappointed with the outcome. I know that it will only get better and I also know that doing a whip, 2.5 and punching into a barely rotated forward roll is a sure sign that I need a little bit of leg recovery. The floor here is very soft and if you don't have a little extra oomph in your take off then it's game over.
Tomorrow we have a half day and I am excited. We have already done 3 days of 2 trainings and I think that an afternoon off will put everyone into the perfect position to nail our 1 routine that we have to show on Friday.
From this point on, I am going to be very protective of my legs. I will demand piggy backs whenever possible and walk slowly and effortlessly when rides are not available.
Kyle
Just a couple of fun tidbits:
- the entire Canadian team gets an awesome Samsung phone/blackberry that we get to keep after the Games. Bell is the wonderful supplier of course and I can tell you that everyone is loving texting and calling back home. Bell rules!
- I got my pants back...bad news. They are flood length. Apparantly I should have worn my shoes when I got them hemmed...I am working on a solution. Anyone know how to add 2 inches?? (get your mind outta the gutter!)
- AC is finally fixed. I think a more comfortable sleep is on it's way
- I took a sleeping pill last night to help combat the jet lag (WADA approved of course). It was supposed to be good for 6 hours, but imagine my surprise when I woke up at 2am. I thought that I was having a sleeping pill trip, but I guess my subconscious is just much stronger than any sedative.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Free Clothes!
Today was a fun day. Long, but fun.
I managed to sleep the night through with only a couple of little interruptions. I have the tendency to wake up on the first night in a new place, sit up in bed and wonder where the hell I am. I did that a few times, but they were just minor glitches in an otherwise pretty content sleep.
One thing that I noticed yesterday and forgot to point out is that Beijing is bloody HOT. Hotter than I remember. I was sweating all day. In fact, right now it is almost 9pm and when you walk outside it is uncomfortably hot. You feel sticky all the time. The great thing is that we have AC in all of the buildings (almost- described below) and buses so we don't roast to death for too long, but as soon as you exit a building and the hot air hits your face it makes you feel a little heat blasted.
Speaking of AC, the air conditioning in Nate and I's room is not working. Our room is 26 C. That's a little warm. We are hoping to have that fixed asap. Also, the showers in our rooms are not so good. The drains don't work properly so the entire bathroom fills up with 3 inches of water when you have a shower. I think that is one of my biggest pet peeves...I hate walking into the bathroom and getting wet feet. It's so unexpected and nasty.
Training this morning went well. I was a little tired so I just conditioned and swung on rings and highbar. It was so funny when we walked into the gym because we were very obviously the first ones who were training there. All of the apparatus was chalkless. We're talking bare ass rings, highbar, pommels and even pbars. That is kind of a piss off as a gymnast because you want to know that someone else has at least touched the equipment before you to make sure it's OK. When you are the first one to touch brand spankin' new equipment it feels a little greasy and a little too fresh. It needs to be broken in a little and having to be the one to do it is a waste of time and energy. We dealt with the circumstance well though and we are just hoping that we don't have the same situation in another new gym tomorrow.
After we got home (haha, I can officially call the Olympic Village "home" for the next month...that's pretty cool) we had a quick bite to eat in the ginormous dining centre and then headed off to experience one of the best parts of being on Team Canada. We went to get our free clothing package!
Everything is awesome. HBC is the supplier this year and they did an amazing job. The fabrics are very compatible with the inferno weather and they have some Asian flavour that seems very fitting for this games. We got pants, shorts, polo shirts, tshirts, socks, a tank top, a couple of jackets, a couple of hats, shoes, flip flops, a sweet hoody, a suitcase, back pack, messenger bag...there was a lot of wicked stuff. To be honest, I saw some of the stuff in the Bay store and I was a little worried. Being on the rack definitely doesn't do the pieces justice. When you put them on they look and feel great. Of course the entire group of gymnasts had to get alterations on the pants because we are all shrimps and we will get them back in a couple of days. I can't even imagine wearing pants in this blazing climate though so they probably won't be that missed.
The outfitting took a while, it was well worth the time of course, and when we arrived back to the village we only had a half hour or so before we had to leave for our second training.
Second training went well. I did some basic routines on floor and then tried some of my bounding lines. I also did a few simple vaults which felt pretty good. The floor has a bit of a weird bounce, but I was able to get a good rhythm going by the end. It just took a little bit of time and patience.
I am trying to be very safe and protective here. I want to take my time and feel comfortable with everything before I start pushing myself to do the big skills. I can't afford an injury and I think that making smart decisions is going to be my best bet. I am ready. I have done the work. Now I just need to take care of myself, get used to the environment and settle in.
I'm fading fast as you can probably tell...jet lag sucks. 32 more minutes until I can go to bed!
K.
I managed to sleep the night through with only a couple of little interruptions. I have the tendency to wake up on the first night in a new place, sit up in bed and wonder where the hell I am. I did that a few times, but they were just minor glitches in an otherwise pretty content sleep.
One thing that I noticed yesterday and forgot to point out is that Beijing is bloody HOT. Hotter than I remember. I was sweating all day. In fact, right now it is almost 9pm and when you walk outside it is uncomfortably hot. You feel sticky all the time. The great thing is that we have AC in all of the buildings (almost- described below) and buses so we don't roast to death for too long, but as soon as you exit a building and the hot air hits your face it makes you feel a little heat blasted.
Speaking of AC, the air conditioning in Nate and I's room is not working. Our room is 26 C. That's a little warm. We are hoping to have that fixed asap. Also, the showers in our rooms are not so good. The drains don't work properly so the entire bathroom fills up with 3 inches of water when you have a shower. I think that is one of my biggest pet peeves...I hate walking into the bathroom and getting wet feet. It's so unexpected and nasty.
Training this morning went well. I was a little tired so I just conditioned and swung on rings and highbar. It was so funny when we walked into the gym because we were very obviously the first ones who were training there. All of the apparatus was chalkless. We're talking bare ass rings, highbar, pommels and even pbars. That is kind of a piss off as a gymnast because you want to know that someone else has at least touched the equipment before you to make sure it's OK. When you are the first one to touch brand spankin' new equipment it feels a little greasy and a little too fresh. It needs to be broken in a little and having to be the one to do it is a waste of time and energy. We dealt with the circumstance well though and we are just hoping that we don't have the same situation in another new gym tomorrow.
After we got home (haha, I can officially call the Olympic Village "home" for the next month...that's pretty cool) we had a quick bite to eat in the ginormous dining centre and then headed off to experience one of the best parts of being on Team Canada. We went to get our free clothing package!
Everything is awesome. HBC is the supplier this year and they did an amazing job. The fabrics are very compatible with the inferno weather and they have some Asian flavour that seems very fitting for this games. We got pants, shorts, polo shirts, tshirts, socks, a tank top, a couple of jackets, a couple of hats, shoes, flip flops, a sweet hoody, a suitcase, back pack, messenger bag...there was a lot of wicked stuff. To be honest, I saw some of the stuff in the Bay store and I was a little worried. Being on the rack definitely doesn't do the pieces justice. When you put them on they look and feel great. Of course the entire group of gymnasts had to get alterations on the pants because we are all shrimps and we will get them back in a couple of days. I can't even imagine wearing pants in this blazing climate though so they probably won't be that missed.
The outfitting took a while, it was well worth the time of course, and when we arrived back to the village we only had a half hour or so before we had to leave for our second training.
Second training went well. I did some basic routines on floor and then tried some of my bounding lines. I also did a few simple vaults which felt pretty good. The floor has a bit of a weird bounce, but I was able to get a good rhythm going by the end. It just took a little bit of time and patience.
I am trying to be very safe and protective here. I want to take my time and feel comfortable with everything before I start pushing myself to do the big skills. I can't afford an injury and I think that making smart decisions is going to be my best bet. I am ready. I have done the work. Now I just need to take care of myself, get used to the environment and settle in.
I'm fading fast as you can probably tell...jet lag sucks. 32 more minutes until I can go to bed!
K.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Welcome to Beijing
I just wanted to take a quick moment to let everyone know that I have arrived in Beijing safe and sound. The flight went well (although I didn't get an upgrade even with everyone sending the upgrade vibes!). I slept for a good 5 hours and it was much needed as I have had a lot on my mind lately. I did a lot of writing, prioritizing and reminding myself that I am a good person with many reasons to smile.
I have to admit that I was a wreck on the drive to the airport. My mom and dad picked me up and I instantly broke down for the entire ride. I looked like I was a stoner because my eyes were so red! I just needed to let it out. I needed to cry, vent and just release all of the emotion. Not only was I upset about the whole love situation, but the day you leave for the Olympics is very emotional. It's scary, exciting and overwhelming all at the same time. You have worked so hard and this is the day that you leave to embark on your journey. You have no idea what the outcome will be. You could come home to hundreds of people at the airport or you could come home and have no greeting crew. Your dreams could come true or they could be shattered. When you get on the plane then there is no turning back.
When we arrived in Beijing it was like an instant flood of all things Olympic. I don't know how many of you have seen the movie Cool Runnings- it's my favourite.There is a part when one of the characters, Sanka, says, "I feel very Olympic today". I can totally relate! Today, I felt very Olympic.
The people of China have been the most gracious hosts. There is a large entourage waiting at your every turn to make sure you are ok and your needs are met. They are awesome volunteers. You can tell that the people of Beijing are extremely proud to be hosting this games and they want the world to be impressed. Well Beijing, I am impressed. My experience thus far has been incredible.
So tonight I have one mission. Fight off this jet lag until 10:30pm. I don't want to wake up at 3am and have time to be lonely and think. I figure that if I can keep my eyes open until 10:30 then the comfort of bed will surround me and I will drift away into the perfect sleep. Let's hope so at least.
We train tomorrow morning at 9am, but it's just going to be a light session. I am really looking forward to walking into the gym and embracing the possibilities. Remember a while back, November I believe, when I said that I wanted to walk into the gym at the Olympics and feel like I owned it? Well, tomorrow is my chance to make that statement come true. I feel like I have full control of my attitude and I am going to approach tomorrow with optimism and excitement.
I am now officiially at the Olympic Games, my mind is clear and it's my chance to shine.
Kyle
I have to admit that I was a wreck on the drive to the airport. My mom and dad picked me up and I instantly broke down for the entire ride. I looked like I was a stoner because my eyes were so red! I just needed to let it out. I needed to cry, vent and just release all of the emotion. Not only was I upset about the whole love situation, but the day you leave for the Olympics is very emotional. It's scary, exciting and overwhelming all at the same time. You have worked so hard and this is the day that you leave to embark on your journey. You have no idea what the outcome will be. You could come home to hundreds of people at the airport or you could come home and have no greeting crew. Your dreams could come true or they could be shattered. When you get on the plane then there is no turning back.
When we arrived in Beijing it was like an instant flood of all things Olympic. I don't know how many of you have seen the movie Cool Runnings- it's my favourite.There is a part when one of the characters, Sanka, says, "I feel very Olympic today". I can totally relate! Today, I felt very Olympic.
The people of China have been the most gracious hosts. There is a large entourage waiting at your every turn to make sure you are ok and your needs are met. They are awesome volunteers. You can tell that the people of Beijing are extremely proud to be hosting this games and they want the world to be impressed. Well Beijing, I am impressed. My experience thus far has been incredible.
So tonight I have one mission. Fight off this jet lag until 10:30pm. I don't want to wake up at 3am and have time to be lonely and think. I figure that if I can keep my eyes open until 10:30 then the comfort of bed will surround me and I will drift away into the perfect sleep. Let's hope so at least.
We train tomorrow morning at 9am, but it's just going to be a light session. I am really looking forward to walking into the gym and embracing the possibilities. Remember a while back, November I believe, when I said that I wanted to walk into the gym at the Olympics and feel like I owned it? Well, tomorrow is my chance to make that statement come true. I feel like I have full control of my attitude and I am going to approach tomorrow with optimism and excitement.
I am now officiially at the Olympic Games, my mind is clear and it's my chance to shine.
Kyle
Friday, July 25, 2008
Heavy Heart
Something happened to me a couple of days ago that reminded me that I am indeed human and not the super hero that I was starting to feel like I was becoming.
A certain girl in my life, someone very special to me who I have discussed here before, a certain girl who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, a certain girl who will always have a piece of my heart, thought that it was important to tell me that she is falling in love with someone new. My heart was broken once when we decided to be apart, but it was crushed when this news was delivered.
I don't know how many of you out there have been in my situation, but for those of you who have then you know the feelings of loneliness, desperation and despair that overcome your every thought and breath. For those of you who know what it feels like to learn that someone who you care about is seeing someone new, you know that the pain is almost impossible to describe, but it is so brutally painful.
First, there is the noxious, vomitty feeling that instantly grasps your jaw and insides as you hear the words one by one...I. am. seeing. someone. new. As each word filters through your brain you want to scream louder. And of course being human, you replay them again just to make sure it wasn't your imagination. It hurts more the second time, but the reality of it whacks you in the heart so hard that you can almost feel it trickling into your gut and making your legs weak. Cue the throat tickle and shaky limbs.
She felt it was important to tell me before I left. It probably was, but why does it have to hurt so much? When someone you love starts to love someone else, it is the worst feeling in the world. I am loyal and I hold the things that I care about very close to my heart. Finding out something like this does not give me freedom, it paralyzes me.
We struggled and came to the conclusion that we needed some life experience before we knew for sure. I guess my hope was that she would find that no one could make her feel alive in the way that I did. She is entitled to live her life. I can't ask her to pause it for me. In fact, I am almost certain that this new gentleman will be able to give her what I couldn't. I just wish that I could give her the beautiful life she deserves. I would be honoured and proud if I could. She holds a very special place in my heart.
Maybe she will have this experience and decide that I am the one that she needs. But will I be around and still waiting? I don't know. I shouldn't be. I should move forward to, but it's impossible when I am still in the dream that I have been dreaming for 20 years. I feel so much progress and momentum in the gym, but I also feel very static when it comes to life beyond gymnastics.
What bothers me is that it bothers me. I need to be strong right now and not focus on the things I can't control. If she wants to move in that direction then that is her choice and she is entitled to it. I wish that it didn't affect me or my focus. A heavy heart affects every ounce of a persons spirit. You can't just turn it off like everyone suggests. I want to, I've tried, but the thoughts and the pain are still sitting there, deeply embedded in my soul. The worst part is that when I don't want to think about it then I do. Damn you irony.
I hate picturing her with him. There is a part of me that feels like no one else in this world should be allowed to give her affection. She is not a possession, but I took a lot of pride in my ability to make her feel special.
I should have known this was coming. It was inevitable that it was going to happen. It's just that matters of the heart were not in my pre-Olympic plan and this has thrown me off a bit. It's consuming me more than I should let it.
What do I do? I know what I need to do, but I am afraid that I won't be able to do it. I know that I can not let this affect me and ruin my dream. I have worked so hard and I need to remember what is important here. I am going to the Olympics and I have overcome the biggest obstacle of my life to have the opportunity. I am strong. I am ready. But I am also so weak when it comes to pulling on my heart strings. Right now, I need to do everything in my power not to think about this. I need to get on the plane tomorrow and leave it in Calgary. I have worked way too long and fought way too hard to let my dreams be capsized by this unforeseen circumstance.
Life is so unpredictable. You can think it's smooth sailing and life is grand and then all of a sudden something you didn't want to hear and didn't expect to occur comes stomping in and uproots your balance. Damn uncontrollable circumstances...they make me angry.
When it all comes down to it, she deserves happiness. It just breaks my heart that I will not be the one who will forever make her smile.
Kyle
A certain girl in my life, someone very special to me who I have discussed here before, a certain girl who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, a certain girl who will always have a piece of my heart, thought that it was important to tell me that she is falling in love with someone new. My heart was broken once when we decided to be apart, but it was crushed when this news was delivered.
I don't know how many of you out there have been in my situation, but for those of you who have then you know the feelings of loneliness, desperation and despair that overcome your every thought and breath. For those of you who know what it feels like to learn that someone who you care about is seeing someone new, you know that the pain is almost impossible to describe, but it is so brutally painful.
First, there is the noxious, vomitty feeling that instantly grasps your jaw and insides as you hear the words one by one...I. am. seeing. someone. new. As each word filters through your brain you want to scream louder. And of course being human, you replay them again just to make sure it wasn't your imagination. It hurts more the second time, but the reality of it whacks you in the heart so hard that you can almost feel it trickling into your gut and making your legs weak. Cue the throat tickle and shaky limbs.
She felt it was important to tell me before I left. It probably was, but why does it have to hurt so much? When someone you love starts to love someone else, it is the worst feeling in the world. I am loyal and I hold the things that I care about very close to my heart. Finding out something like this does not give me freedom, it paralyzes me.
We struggled and came to the conclusion that we needed some life experience before we knew for sure. I guess my hope was that she would find that no one could make her feel alive in the way that I did. She is entitled to live her life. I can't ask her to pause it for me. In fact, I am almost certain that this new gentleman will be able to give her what I couldn't. I just wish that I could give her the beautiful life she deserves. I would be honoured and proud if I could. She holds a very special place in my heart.
Maybe she will have this experience and decide that I am the one that she needs. But will I be around and still waiting? I don't know. I shouldn't be. I should move forward to, but it's impossible when I am still in the dream that I have been dreaming for 20 years. I feel so much progress and momentum in the gym, but I also feel very static when it comes to life beyond gymnastics.
What bothers me is that it bothers me. I need to be strong right now and not focus on the things I can't control. If she wants to move in that direction then that is her choice and she is entitled to it. I wish that it didn't affect me or my focus. A heavy heart affects every ounce of a persons spirit. You can't just turn it off like everyone suggests. I want to, I've tried, but the thoughts and the pain are still sitting there, deeply embedded in my soul. The worst part is that when I don't want to think about it then I do. Damn you irony.
I hate picturing her with him. There is a part of me that feels like no one else in this world should be allowed to give her affection. She is not a possession, but I took a lot of pride in my ability to make her feel special.
I should have known this was coming. It was inevitable that it was going to happen. It's just that matters of the heart were not in my pre-Olympic plan and this has thrown me off a bit. It's consuming me more than I should let it.
What do I do? I know what I need to do, but I am afraid that I won't be able to do it. I know that I can not let this affect me and ruin my dream. I have worked so hard and I need to remember what is important here. I am going to the Olympics and I have overcome the biggest obstacle of my life to have the opportunity. I am strong. I am ready. But I am also so weak when it comes to pulling on my heart strings. Right now, I need to do everything in my power not to think about this. I need to get on the plane tomorrow and leave it in Calgary. I have worked way too long and fought way too hard to let my dreams be capsized by this unforeseen circumstance.
Life is so unpredictable. You can think it's smooth sailing and life is grand and then all of a sudden something you didn't want to hear and didn't expect to occur comes stomping in and uproots your balance. Damn uncontrollable circumstances...they make me angry.
When it all comes down to it, she deserves happiness. It just breaks my heart that I will not be the one who will forever make her smile.
Kyle
Monday, July 21, 2008
Final Olympic Camp
As of today, we have less than one week before we blast off to Beijing on July 26th! I have been on an incredible roller coaster of emotions over the past week, sometimes having 100% belief in myself that I am ready and other times having zero confidence.
We started our final Olympic camp on Thursday and the day went well. It was kind of weird because this camp really blended into the camp that ended a week before. It didn't even feel like I had a week of training at my home gym in between. My first question to myself when I arrived at Calgary Gymnastics Centre was, "Did I actually train last week or was that just my imagination?".
On Friday we had our first model training. I have to admit, it was tough.
At about 2 in the afternoon the dark clouds rolled in over Calgary and there was a gloom in the air. A storm was brewing and I felt it in my core. I am pretty sure everyone else did as well because the gym had an off and tired energy. It was dark, silent and timid. These are not my favourite conditions for getting pumped up and hitting routines! I am the type of person who is very reactive to energy, seasons and weather. Give me a sunny summer day and I will smile and radiate, but take my sunshine away and I feel drained. Maybe I should have been a plant. Life would have been easier and photosynthesis is such a cool trick to be able to perform! I love growth, inspiration and warm hugs and that is what a beautiful summer day conveys to me. When dark clouds roll in it almost feels as if I have to work 2 times as hard to feel alive. I hope that August 9th is one of those days when a breeze rolls in and pushes the smog out of Beijing. Sunny days make me feel unstoppable.
I did manage to hit all of my routines in the model training, but I didn't feel as present and sharp as I have in the past. I felt like I was happy to make it through and I couldn't muster up the desire or energy to make things finitely perfect. I was disappointed at the end of the day because I knew I could do better. I have been working hard and trying my absolute best in training. I haven't been cutting corners and I have been trying to place myself in pressure situations on a consistent basis so that I can deal with it easily and nail my BEST routines when the judge says it's time to go. I don't want to be content with simply hitting, I want to hit and know that it was the best it could be.
I experienced a lot of times on Friday when I got a little frustrated with myself because I didn't seize the moment. My 'Carpe Diem' factor was lacking and it wasn't until I was finished my routine that I looked back on it and thought, "Why didn't I do that better?". Loser.
After having this negative feeling of regret hit my gut more times than I liked, I came to a conclusion that has really changed my attitude and approach to training during this last couple of days. Each time I make a small mistake, I look at it as a growth moment. It is an opportunity for me to recognize that something went wrong, but to also realize that I still have time to apply myself, change it and therefore grow. If I was to continue making the same mistakes, not recognizing them and not changing them then I would conclude that I don't really give a crap. But I really do care. I care so much that I've thought about gymnastics, the Olympics and my routines non stop for the past 'I don't even know how long'. I dream gymnastics (thank god I'm not dreaming about home renovations anymore!), I eat gymnastics (and I am proud to say that I am leaning out exactly according to plan...hello cheekbones, goodbye beer roll (he'll be back soon though!)), I breathe gymnastics (each time I breathe in I try to imagine it being the last deep breathe I take before I compete). Gymnastics is definitely not just a sport. It is a lifestyle and I am embracing it.
On Saturday, the day after our hideous model training, I was tired and just needed to take it easy. I felt a little guilty that my teammates were busting out crazy amounts of work, but I was exhausted and couldn't keep up. If there is one thing I have learned in the past 20 years of doing this sport it would be that listening to your body and trusting your emotions is essential to success. I was drained. It took a lot out of me to fight through Friday's competition and I didn't have much left. So, I stayed in the back ground, did some basic skills and conditioning and recharged my 20 year old gymnastics battery (I think my 26 year old Kyle battery needed some charging too)!
After taking it easy on Saturday, Sunday was one of those days where I felt like nothing could stand in my way. Bring on the Oly's! We had one routine on each apparatus and I breezed through it. Everything felt easy. Maybe a little too easy. Everything felt like it was connected (my mind, body and spirit). I have to admit, I was looking pretty friggin' sharp and I felt motivation, confidence and pure joy just oozing through me!
I love my sport. I love good days. I love it when I have endless amounts of energy and enthusiasm. I love self-confidence. I love trusting myself. I love courage. I love strength. I think most of all, I love believing in myself, believing in my team and believing in the potential that Beijing holds.
Tomorrow (Tuesday the 22nd) we are having our final model training before we leave for China on the 26th. It is going to be at Calgary Gymnastics Centre (at Canada Olympic Park) starting at 5:45pm. Everyone is welcome to come and watch. In fact, I have already invited way too many people. But you know what, I want the gym to be packed. I want there to be energy. I want to feel inspired and I want to show everyone how far I've come and how awesome our team is. I am sick of having 5 people in the audience when we compete. I want to be fired up. We are the best gymnasts in this country. We are going to the Olympics! We have dedicated our lives to this and we deserve to have thousands of people screaming for us when we nail our routines!!!
Tomorrow could be one of the best parts of this entire process. I'm very excited to perform for my friends, family and colleagues. I have an inkling that there might be a few tears in the audience...and some of them will probably be from me. I'm almost at that point where my dreams start coming true and it is a pretty overwhelming feeling. I've come so far and I know that in the next 17 days I will continue to go even further.
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
We started our final Olympic camp on Thursday and the day went well. It was kind of weird because this camp really blended into the camp that ended a week before. It didn't even feel like I had a week of training at my home gym in between. My first question to myself when I arrived at Calgary Gymnastics Centre was, "Did I actually train last week or was that just my imagination?".
On Friday we had our first model training. I have to admit, it was tough.
At about 2 in the afternoon the dark clouds rolled in over Calgary and there was a gloom in the air. A storm was brewing and I felt it in my core. I am pretty sure everyone else did as well because the gym had an off and tired energy. It was dark, silent and timid. These are not my favourite conditions for getting pumped up and hitting routines! I am the type of person who is very reactive to energy, seasons and weather. Give me a sunny summer day and I will smile and radiate, but take my sunshine away and I feel drained. Maybe I should have been a plant. Life would have been easier and photosynthesis is such a cool trick to be able to perform! I love growth, inspiration and warm hugs and that is what a beautiful summer day conveys to me. When dark clouds roll in it almost feels as if I have to work 2 times as hard to feel alive. I hope that August 9th is one of those days when a breeze rolls in and pushes the smog out of Beijing. Sunny days make me feel unstoppable.
I did manage to hit all of my routines in the model training, but I didn't feel as present and sharp as I have in the past. I felt like I was happy to make it through and I couldn't muster up the desire or energy to make things finitely perfect. I was disappointed at the end of the day because I knew I could do better. I have been working hard and trying my absolute best in training. I haven't been cutting corners and I have been trying to place myself in pressure situations on a consistent basis so that I can deal with it easily and nail my BEST routines when the judge says it's time to go. I don't want to be content with simply hitting, I want to hit and know that it was the best it could be.
I experienced a lot of times on Friday when I got a little frustrated with myself because I didn't seize the moment. My 'Carpe Diem' factor was lacking and it wasn't until I was finished my routine that I looked back on it and thought, "Why didn't I do that better?". Loser.
After having this negative feeling of regret hit my gut more times than I liked, I came to a conclusion that has really changed my attitude and approach to training during this last couple of days. Each time I make a small mistake, I look at it as a growth moment. It is an opportunity for me to recognize that something went wrong, but to also realize that I still have time to apply myself, change it and therefore grow. If I was to continue making the same mistakes, not recognizing them and not changing them then I would conclude that I don't really give a crap. But I really do care. I care so much that I've thought about gymnastics, the Olympics and my routines non stop for the past 'I don't even know how long'. I dream gymnastics (thank god I'm not dreaming about home renovations anymore!), I eat gymnastics (and I am proud to say that I am leaning out exactly according to plan...hello cheekbones, goodbye beer roll (he'll be back soon though!)), I breathe gymnastics (each time I breathe in I try to imagine it being the last deep breathe I take before I compete). Gymnastics is definitely not just a sport. It is a lifestyle and I am embracing it.
On Saturday, the day after our hideous model training, I was tired and just needed to take it easy. I felt a little guilty that my teammates were busting out crazy amounts of work, but I was exhausted and couldn't keep up. If there is one thing I have learned in the past 20 years of doing this sport it would be that listening to your body and trusting your emotions is essential to success. I was drained. It took a lot out of me to fight through Friday's competition and I didn't have much left. So, I stayed in the back ground, did some basic skills and conditioning and recharged my 20 year old gymnastics battery (I think my 26 year old Kyle battery needed some charging too)!
After taking it easy on Saturday, Sunday was one of those days where I felt like nothing could stand in my way. Bring on the Oly's! We had one routine on each apparatus and I breezed through it. Everything felt easy. Maybe a little too easy. Everything felt like it was connected (my mind, body and spirit). I have to admit, I was looking pretty friggin' sharp and I felt motivation, confidence and pure joy just oozing through me!
I love my sport. I love good days. I love it when I have endless amounts of energy and enthusiasm. I love self-confidence. I love trusting myself. I love courage. I love strength. I think most of all, I love believing in myself, believing in my team and believing in the potential that Beijing holds.
Tomorrow (Tuesday the 22nd) we are having our final model training before we leave for China on the 26th. It is going to be at Calgary Gymnastics Centre (at Canada Olympic Park) starting at 5:45pm. Everyone is welcome to come and watch. In fact, I have already invited way too many people. But you know what, I want the gym to be packed. I want there to be energy. I want to feel inspired and I want to show everyone how far I've come and how awesome our team is. I am sick of having 5 people in the audience when we compete. I want to be fired up. We are the best gymnasts in this country. We are going to the Olympics! We have dedicated our lives to this and we deserve to have thousands of people screaming for us when we nail our routines!!!
Tomorrow could be one of the best parts of this entire process. I'm very excited to perform for my friends, family and colleagues. I have an inkling that there might be a few tears in the audience...and some of them will probably be from me. I'm almost at that point where my dreams start coming true and it is a pretty overwhelming feeling. I've come so far and I know that in the next 17 days I will continue to go even further.
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Monday, July 14, 2008
Olympic Doubt
This morning I was a little panicked when I woke up. The thought that I am actually leaving for Beijing and the OLYMPIC GAMES felt very real and it freaked the shit out of me.
All of a sudden, as I turned off my alarm clock, a million thoughts and questions came rushing in to my fresh and recharged morning mind.
Am I ready?
Will I be able to deliver the performance I need to?
Will I be able to withstand the Olympic pressure?
Have I worked hard enough?
Have I done enough routines?
Do I need more time?
Will my legs hold up?
Is my difficulty high enough?
What if I don't win again?
What if I mess up during the qualification?
What if I can't get my second vault?
What if I forget how to do gymnastics?
At one point I actually lied there and contemplated just continuing to lie there until someone came and saved me from the nightmare. Would I have stayed in my bed until the 26th and missed my flight? Probably not. I hope someone would get concerned by that point!
I guess I am feeling the crunch. The expectation I have of myself and the pressure of the Olympic Games are beginning to build. We are less than a month away. It just doesn't quite seem like the time line is real. Is someone playing a really bad joke on me? Did someone change all of my clocks and calendars? Where the hell did the past month go?
It's very hard to express my mind set right now. It's almost as if every moment that I am not in the gym and proving to myself that I can do gymnastics, I am doubting my ability. I am only getting relief and confirmation when I am physically there and going through the motions. I have found myself worrying about the thoughts that are going to go through my head when it's time to compete. I want to be focused and prepared and not wishing that I could escape the moment and run away and hide. But honestly, that's how I feel sometimes right now. I am so scared that my physical, emotional and mental selves are not going to align at the moment I need them to. What if I completely destroy my performance? What if I stand there waiting to compete and I don't trust the work I have done? What if I let the sharks attack and I am left with severed limbs and a devastating experience?
I think these thoughts are normal.
Um, am I normal?
I am at least going to try and convince myself that these thoughts are normal. I would assume that every Olympic Champion who broke both of their legs 10 months before the upcoming Games which are only 24 days away has experienced these thoughts of doubt and anxiety.
Maybe I'm not so normal!
I am just really scared of failing. I've invested so much. I don't want to let myself, my team or my country down.
I knew that this comeback was going to come down to the wire, but it is taking everything I have inside of me right now to not avoid it completely. It's so friggin scary!! It doesn't feel real. Even as I type I can't believe that I will be leaving for the Olympics in 12 more sleeps.
I guess there was a positive to this little freak out. I did get my ass out of bed and I did go to training. Not only was I there, but I was productive and proved to myself that I am almost ready for Olympic competition. I think I am thinking negatively because I am tired, anxious and just ready to write the story. I am so sick of waiting for it all to unfold. I want to be in the moment, compete and stop thinking about everything that could go wrong.
OK, time for a personal therapy session...my favourite.
From this moment on, I will only think of everything great that will happen. I will picture myself having positive thoughts before I compete. I will trust the evidence that I see in training every day. And of course, I will breathe.
Something cool happened to me today. I saw my great friend (and role model!) Clara Hughes while I was leaving the gym and she was cycling home. She asked how I was and I vented a bit about everything. She, being the incredibly grounded person that she is, always has such awesome perspective. She reminded me of the victory that I have already achieved by overcoming my injury and she reminded me that I am freaking out a bit because I am a competitor and I really care. It's true. I really do care about my performance and maybe freaking out 24 days before the Games start is jut a mechanism that I use in order to get myself prepared. I'm gonna go with that at least! Life has no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason and Clara just cycled past me today as a reminder that I am on the right path and I am exactly where I need to be, stressin' out and all!
I told my coach, Tony, today that I don't want this to be stressful. I don't want it to freak me out. I don't want to approach days with fear and worry. I don't want it to feel like the end of the world when everything doesn't feel perfect. I want to enjoy this time. This is something I have worked very hard for and I don't want to kibosh it by being a panicky little freak show. My attitude is mine to control and I need to be positive. I want to be positive. I want to enjoy every second of this experience because it is really special.
When it all comes down to it, not everyone gets to lay in their bed and question whether or not they will be ready for the Olympics. Should I consider myself lucky?? I think so.
Kyle
All of a sudden, as I turned off my alarm clock, a million thoughts and questions came rushing in to my fresh and recharged morning mind.
Am I ready?
Will I be able to deliver the performance I need to?
Will I be able to withstand the Olympic pressure?
Have I worked hard enough?
Have I done enough routines?
Do I need more time?
Will my legs hold up?
Is my difficulty high enough?
What if I don't win again?
What if I mess up during the qualification?
What if I can't get my second vault?
What if I forget how to do gymnastics?
At one point I actually lied there and contemplated just continuing to lie there until someone came and saved me from the nightmare. Would I have stayed in my bed until the 26th and missed my flight? Probably not. I hope someone would get concerned by that point!
I guess I am feeling the crunch. The expectation I have of myself and the pressure of the Olympic Games are beginning to build. We are less than a month away. It just doesn't quite seem like the time line is real. Is someone playing a really bad joke on me? Did someone change all of my clocks and calendars? Where the hell did the past month go?
It's very hard to express my mind set right now. It's almost as if every moment that I am not in the gym and proving to myself that I can do gymnastics, I am doubting my ability. I am only getting relief and confirmation when I am physically there and going through the motions. I have found myself worrying about the thoughts that are going to go through my head when it's time to compete. I want to be focused and prepared and not wishing that I could escape the moment and run away and hide. But honestly, that's how I feel sometimes right now. I am so scared that my physical, emotional and mental selves are not going to align at the moment I need them to. What if I completely destroy my performance? What if I stand there waiting to compete and I don't trust the work I have done? What if I let the sharks attack and I am left with severed limbs and a devastating experience?
I think these thoughts are normal.
Um, am I normal?
I am at least going to try and convince myself that these thoughts are normal. I would assume that every Olympic Champion who broke both of their legs 10 months before the upcoming Games which are only 24 days away has experienced these thoughts of doubt and anxiety.
Maybe I'm not so normal!
I am just really scared of failing. I've invested so much. I don't want to let myself, my team or my country down.
I knew that this comeback was going to come down to the wire, but it is taking everything I have inside of me right now to not avoid it completely. It's so friggin scary!! It doesn't feel real. Even as I type I can't believe that I will be leaving for the Olympics in 12 more sleeps.
I guess there was a positive to this little freak out. I did get my ass out of bed and I did go to training. Not only was I there, but I was productive and proved to myself that I am almost ready for Olympic competition. I think I am thinking negatively because I am tired, anxious and just ready to write the story. I am so sick of waiting for it all to unfold. I want to be in the moment, compete and stop thinking about everything that could go wrong.
OK, time for a personal therapy session...my favourite.
From this moment on, I will only think of everything great that will happen. I will picture myself having positive thoughts before I compete. I will trust the evidence that I see in training every day. And of course, I will breathe.
Something cool happened to me today. I saw my great friend (and role model!) Clara Hughes while I was leaving the gym and she was cycling home. She asked how I was and I vented a bit about everything. She, being the incredibly grounded person that she is, always has such awesome perspective. She reminded me of the victory that I have already achieved by overcoming my injury and she reminded me that I am freaking out a bit because I am a competitor and I really care. It's true. I really do care about my performance and maybe freaking out 24 days before the Games start is jut a mechanism that I use in order to get myself prepared. I'm gonna go with that at least! Life has no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason and Clara just cycled past me today as a reminder that I am on the right path and I am exactly where I need to be, stressin' out and all!
I told my coach, Tony, today that I don't want this to be stressful. I don't want it to freak me out. I don't want to approach days with fear and worry. I don't want it to feel like the end of the world when everything doesn't feel perfect. I want to enjoy this time. This is something I have worked very hard for and I don't want to kibosh it by being a panicky little freak show. My attitude is mine to control and I need to be positive. I want to be positive. I want to enjoy every second of this experience because it is really special.
When it all comes down to it, not everyone gets to lay in their bed and question whether or not they will be ready for the Olympics. Should I consider myself lucky?? I think so.
Kyle
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
3 Time Olympian
Yesterday, at the conclusion of our final Olympic selection camp, our team was finally named. Let me introduce you to the gentlemen who will represent Canada at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games:
Grant Golding
David Kikuchi
Adam Wong
Nathan Gafuik
Brandon Oneill
and...Me!
This is an incredibly strong team. I don't think we even know how good we are. I believe we are going to be the surprise of the Games and I am so proud and honored to be a part of this group. Our goal as a team is to place top 8 in the qualification and to move on to the team finals where anything can happen. I am really looking forward to experiencing success with my teammates. Also, the celebrations afterwards are going to be insane!
Can you believe that I am going to be a 3 time Olympian??? That is bloody crazy. You know you're legit when you're a competitor at 3 Olympic Games. I believe I am only the second gymnast from Canada to qualify to 3 Games, the other being Alan Nolet ('88, '92, '96). What an accomplishment. This is actually one of the main goals that has helped me push through this year. I've always wanted to be a part of this rarefied group and it is something that I am very proud of.
You don't get many triple Olympians in gymnastics. The life span of a gymnast is usually pretty short because we start at such a young age and it is so demanding on all levels. I know some athletes who started competing in their sports when they were 12, 13, some even 18 years old. I started competing when I was 8 and I competed in my first Olympic Games when I was 18.
My first Olympics were Sydney 2000. I consider these my "experience" Olympics. I was young, wide eyed and just elated to be there. It was my first major Games and I learned so much. I went as an individual with Sasha Jeltkov because Canada didn't qualify a full team to the Games. It was a stressful process of qualifying too as I had to travel around the world competing at numerous World Cups in order to reach a top 16 world ranking. Eventually I surpassed that and ended with a top 8 ranking, but I didn't find out I would be going to the Games until a month and a bit before. I ran around my house when I found out!
Being there was the accomplishment. I had high hopes, but my world didn't revolve around my Olympic success. I just wanted to represent Canada well and get the free clothing package! haha.
I can remember competing on floor and not being able to feel my legs before I started my routine! That was a little concerning, but when I began to tumble I felt quick and powerful. I actually had a little too much power and my toe went out of bounds. I got a .1 deduction for the mistake and I ended up scoring a 9.575 and a 12th place finish. With that .1 back, I would have scored a 9.675 and ended up 4th and qualified to the finals. I was so close and pretty disappointed that I made such a small, but costly mistake. Live and learn, I guess.
If I had the opportunity to go back in the past and change that mistake, I don't think I would. It made me more hungry for Olympic success.
The rest of those games were a total gong show/write off for me. I was 18, done competing after the first day and let's just say that Sydney was mine to discover. I explored, watched tons of competitions, got a tattoo (at Harry's Tattoo Parlor of all places...sounds classy!) and drank way too much beer. I look back at pictures and laugh because I was so young and naive. But I do believe that this was an important experience for me to have. I got to participate in the Olympics and see what the big show was all about...and it was like nothing else in the world!
One of my good gymnastic friends, Igor Vihrov, ended up winning the floor title at this Olympic Games. I had beaten him at a couple of World Cups leading into the competition so it was pretty eye opening for me. I guess it was confirmation that I had potential to win the Olympics. I actually saw Igor right after he won and he let me see his medal. It was at that moment that I decided the title would be mine in 2004. I actually wrote down some goals and plans (big surprise!) in my room at the village that evening and one of them was to become the 2004 Olympic Champion on floor.
Fast forward 4 years and many competitions later: Athens 2004. This is what I like to call my "Dream Come True" Olympics (it was kind of like a storybook)! They were absolutely perfect.
My experience in Athens was the experience that all athletes dream of. I was in incredible shape and I competed well. I had my personal best performances and did it all in the country where the Olympic Games were born. It was my former coach, Kelly, and I's swan song as athlete and coach and as Kelly likes to say, "the stars aligned on that day"!
I was prepared. I knew what was at stake. I knew I needed to be perfect in order to win. I knew what the Games were all about. I knew how exciting they would be, but I wasn't distracted. I was focused and disciplined. My "experience" Olympics helped me know what to expect.
As I completed my routine in the finals I was on auto pilot. I just turned my brain off and let my body do the work. As I moved through each line I was focused on the finest of details, from my toes being pointed to my landings being stuck (in bounds of course!). When it came time for my dismount I knew I was going to have to fight with everything I had inside of me to nail the landing.
I ran a little slower than normal. 3 running steps, round off, back handspring, double twisting double back. I saw the floor and planted my feet. I grabbed on for dear life with my toes and fought with every ounce of 'competitor' I had. I didn't move. It was electric.
Seeing your name on top of the score board after nailing the best routine of your life is an incredible feeling. It was almost like I was in the dream that I had been dreaming for 16 years beforehand. But it was reality and that took a while for me to accept. I had done everything I possibly could to downplay the pressure inside of my own head. I kept telling myself that it was just another routine. But it wasn't. It was a routine that changed my life and helped me to realize that ultimate dreams do come true.
My family was in Athens as well and that made the experience that much more dream like. They paid a great deal of money to be there for me, but the moment wouldn't have been as special if they weren't there to hug in person right after I peed in a cup!
I felt like the whole package was put together perfectly. Me, in incredible shape, believing in myself and ready to fight like hell. My family, on a vacation and supporting me from the stands. My coach, who coached me from the beginning, and I's last competition together. Greece, the birthplace of the Games. It all brings a tear to my eye right now as I look back and recall that beautiful experience.
It truly was a dream come true.
Now, I am preparing for my third Olympic Games. But as I sit here; I can't come up with a title for them. These games have a completely different meaning. I guess it would be safe to wait until they are complete and the story is told before I define them, but I know that above all else they are going to be rewarding, inspiring, satisfying and fulfilling. I have worked so hard to earn my place on this team and now I am ready to push myself hard through the next 30 days. Gold medal or not, these Olympics might just be the best of the bunch. And that's because of everything I've gone through just to make it there!
With one month left to go, I am so excited about the possibilities!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Grant Golding
David Kikuchi
Adam Wong
Nathan Gafuik
Brandon Oneill
and...Me!
This is an incredibly strong team. I don't think we even know how good we are. I believe we are going to be the surprise of the Games and I am so proud and honored to be a part of this group. Our goal as a team is to place top 8 in the qualification and to move on to the team finals where anything can happen. I am really looking forward to experiencing success with my teammates. Also, the celebrations afterwards are going to be insane!
Can you believe that I am going to be a 3 time Olympian??? That is bloody crazy. You know you're legit when you're a competitor at 3 Olympic Games. I believe I am only the second gymnast from Canada to qualify to 3 Games, the other being Alan Nolet ('88, '92, '96). What an accomplishment. This is actually one of the main goals that has helped me push through this year. I've always wanted to be a part of this rarefied group and it is something that I am very proud of.
You don't get many triple Olympians in gymnastics. The life span of a gymnast is usually pretty short because we start at such a young age and it is so demanding on all levels. I know some athletes who started competing in their sports when they were 12, 13, some even 18 years old. I started competing when I was 8 and I competed in my first Olympic Games when I was 18.
My first Olympics were Sydney 2000. I consider these my "experience" Olympics. I was young, wide eyed and just elated to be there. It was my first major Games and I learned so much. I went as an individual with Sasha Jeltkov because Canada didn't qualify a full team to the Games. It was a stressful process of qualifying too as I had to travel around the world competing at numerous World Cups in order to reach a top 16 world ranking. Eventually I surpassed that and ended with a top 8 ranking, but I didn't find out I would be going to the Games until a month and a bit before. I ran around my house when I found out!
Being there was the accomplishment. I had high hopes, but my world didn't revolve around my Olympic success. I just wanted to represent Canada well and get the free clothing package! haha.
I can remember competing on floor and not being able to feel my legs before I started my routine! That was a little concerning, but when I began to tumble I felt quick and powerful. I actually had a little too much power and my toe went out of bounds. I got a .1 deduction for the mistake and I ended up scoring a 9.575 and a 12th place finish. With that .1 back, I would have scored a 9.675 and ended up 4th and qualified to the finals. I was so close and pretty disappointed that I made such a small, but costly mistake. Live and learn, I guess.
If I had the opportunity to go back in the past and change that mistake, I don't think I would. It made me more hungry for Olympic success.
The rest of those games were a total gong show/write off for me. I was 18, done competing after the first day and let's just say that Sydney was mine to discover. I explored, watched tons of competitions, got a tattoo (at Harry's Tattoo Parlor of all places...sounds classy!) and drank way too much beer. I look back at pictures and laugh because I was so young and naive. But I do believe that this was an important experience for me to have. I got to participate in the Olympics and see what the big show was all about...and it was like nothing else in the world!
One of my good gymnastic friends, Igor Vihrov, ended up winning the floor title at this Olympic Games. I had beaten him at a couple of World Cups leading into the competition so it was pretty eye opening for me. I guess it was confirmation that I had potential to win the Olympics. I actually saw Igor right after he won and he let me see his medal. It was at that moment that I decided the title would be mine in 2004. I actually wrote down some goals and plans (big surprise!) in my room at the village that evening and one of them was to become the 2004 Olympic Champion on floor.
Fast forward 4 years and many competitions later: Athens 2004. This is what I like to call my "Dream Come True" Olympics (it was kind of like a storybook)! They were absolutely perfect.
My experience in Athens was the experience that all athletes dream of. I was in incredible shape and I competed well. I had my personal best performances and did it all in the country where the Olympic Games were born. It was my former coach, Kelly, and I's swan song as athlete and coach and as Kelly likes to say, "the stars aligned on that day"!
I was prepared. I knew what was at stake. I knew I needed to be perfect in order to win. I knew what the Games were all about. I knew how exciting they would be, but I wasn't distracted. I was focused and disciplined. My "experience" Olympics helped me know what to expect.
As I completed my routine in the finals I was on auto pilot. I just turned my brain off and let my body do the work. As I moved through each line I was focused on the finest of details, from my toes being pointed to my landings being stuck (in bounds of course!). When it came time for my dismount I knew I was going to have to fight with everything I had inside of me to nail the landing.
I ran a little slower than normal. 3 running steps, round off, back handspring, double twisting double back. I saw the floor and planted my feet. I grabbed on for dear life with my toes and fought with every ounce of 'competitor' I had. I didn't move. It was electric.
Seeing your name on top of the score board after nailing the best routine of your life is an incredible feeling. It was almost like I was in the dream that I had been dreaming for 16 years beforehand. But it was reality and that took a while for me to accept. I had done everything I possibly could to downplay the pressure inside of my own head. I kept telling myself that it was just another routine. But it wasn't. It was a routine that changed my life and helped me to realize that ultimate dreams do come true.
My family was in Athens as well and that made the experience that much more dream like. They paid a great deal of money to be there for me, but the moment wouldn't have been as special if they weren't there to hug in person right after I peed in a cup!
I felt like the whole package was put together perfectly. Me, in incredible shape, believing in myself and ready to fight like hell. My family, on a vacation and supporting me from the stands. My coach, who coached me from the beginning, and I's last competition together. Greece, the birthplace of the Games. It all brings a tear to my eye right now as I look back and recall that beautiful experience.
It truly was a dream come true.
Now, I am preparing for my third Olympic Games. But as I sit here; I can't come up with a title for them. These games have a completely different meaning. I guess it would be safe to wait until they are complete and the story is told before I define them, but I know that above all else they are going to be rewarding, inspiring, satisfying and fulfilling. I have worked so hard to earn my place on this team and now I am ready to push myself hard through the next 30 days. Gold medal or not, these Olympics might just be the best of the bunch. And that's because of everything I've gone through just to make it there!
With one month left to go, I am so excited about the possibilities!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Trials Videos
Below are some video's of my routines from trials. I missed taping my ring routine because I was so zoned that I forgot to pull out my camera, but that's alright. My rings aren't anything special so you aren't missing much!
This is my vault. I felt fast and smooth and just need to stick my landing.
This is my highbar routine. Clean and simple for the team. Notice the perfect form on my Def release move...this leads me to believe that I am getting into great shape! That is a very difficult skill to keep perfect form on and the only way you really can is when you believe that you will catch the bar before you even let go. It's called trust and I'm starting to trust myself a lot more!
This is my floor routine. Still not perfect, but I have come so far and I am choosing to focus on that!
My goal for the upcoming week is to eliminate most of the mats and to change my 4th line to something a little more complex. I was whipping into this skill so that I could build up some strength and endurance, but now it's time to remove the whip and add an extra twist. Hopefully it' not a problem. Basically, I just need to do more routines so that I can have some energy for the last couple of lines. I only did a full twist in my 5th line here, but I cleanly bailed out of a double. It is bloody hard to be tight and quick after 4 lines!
Remember, back in January, when I was excited to do a simple roundoff back handspring on squishy mats?! I sure do. My progress over the past month has been phenomenal and I am looking forward to improving even more over the next 30 days!
I hope that you enjoyed watching. If you want to see me compete LIVE and in person, come by Calgary Gymnastics Centre (at Canada Olympic Park) on July 22nd at 5:45pm. Mark your calendar! I want everyone I know in Calgary to be there and I want my team to have the opportunity to show our friends, family and fans how awesome we are!!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
This is my vault. I felt fast and smooth and just need to stick my landing.
This is my highbar routine. Clean and simple for the team. Notice the perfect form on my Def release move...this leads me to believe that I am getting into great shape! That is a very difficult skill to keep perfect form on and the only way you really can is when you believe that you will catch the bar before you even let go. It's called trust and I'm starting to trust myself a lot more!
This is my floor routine. Still not perfect, but I have come so far and I am choosing to focus on that!
My goal for the upcoming week is to eliminate most of the mats and to change my 4th line to something a little more complex. I was whipping into this skill so that I could build up some strength and endurance, but now it's time to remove the whip and add an extra twist. Hopefully it' not a problem. Basically, I just need to do more routines so that I can have some energy for the last couple of lines. I only did a full twist in my 5th line here, but I cleanly bailed out of a double. It is bloody hard to be tight and quick after 4 lines!
Remember, back in January, when I was excited to do a simple roundoff back handspring on squishy mats?! I sure do. My progress over the past month has been phenomenal and I am looking forward to improving even more over the next 30 days!
I hope that you enjoyed watching. If you want to see me compete LIVE and in person, come by Calgary Gymnastics Centre (at Canada Olympic Park) on July 22nd at 5:45pm. Mark your calendar! I want everyone I know in Calgary to be there and I want my team to have the opportunity to show our friends, family and fans how awesome we are!!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Competing Tonight
I probably shouldn't be writing this right now as the past has dictated that at this point, only an hour and a bit before warm up, I should be getting a little stressed. I should start feeling the adreneline pumpin' through my veins and the slight panic attacks that occur when something doesn't go exactly according to my pre-competition plan. I should be doing a mental check of my list of things to remember like snacks, singlet, shorts and red socks. I should be remembering my key words and visualizing myself nailing perfect routines. I should be getting myself into the zone and starting to feel the emergence of the fighter inside of me...
I have good news to report...everything that I should be doing, I have already done.
I am ready.
Let me seize the moment and show how far I have come. Today is a day where I have a chance to add some more confidence to my Olympic preparation. I want to attack when it's time and be calm and cool when I am paitently waiting to explode.
On that note, It's 1:50pm and my plan says it's time for me to go and brush my teeth!
Wish me luck,
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
I have good news to report...everything that I should be doing, I have already done.
I am ready.
Let me seize the moment and show how far I have come. Today is a day where I have a chance to add some more confidence to my Olympic preparation. I want to attack when it's time and be calm and cool when I am paitently waiting to explode.
On that note, It's 1:50pm and my plan says it's time for me to go and brush my teeth!
Wish me luck,
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Intense Time Bomb
Today was the start of our second Olympic selection camp and it was a great day. The sun was shining (28 C here in Calgary...not even close to the 40 degree weather we'll get in Beijing though!), there was intensity in the gym and everyone looked like they brought their A game. By the end of the camp, which is Monday, we will know who will represent our country in men's gymnastics at the Beijing Olympic Games...it's about friggin' time!
This week, I am really looking forward to showing the improvements I've made over the past week and a half since our last camp. My confidence is higher, my trust and belief in myself are elevated and my physical condition is way better than it was even a week ago...everything that I wanted to start coming together is starting to come together and it is so satisfying. Ahhhh...
I am also looking forward to testing myself again in a competition situation. We have 2 test meets, one on Saturday and one on Monday and I am feeling very prepared. I am almost at the point where I am excited to show off how far I have come. Weird.
My heart and soul are deeply invested in this process. It's like I have fallen madly in love with the potential this dream holds. There have been a few days in the past week where I have been on the verge of tears, not because of sadness, but because of joy and pride. I am absolutely loving my physical, mental and emotional conditions. Physically, I don't think I have ever been so strong. I have amazing endurance (and it will just continue to improve!), I feel like skills and routines are starting to become easier. Mentally, I feel like I have a really good grasp on whats important right now and I feel like my perspective and approach are very positive and peaceful. Emotionally, I feel like I am willing to give everything I have within myself.
I want to dream about my Olympic performances every minute I am away from the gym. I have found myself more often than not laying in bed and visualizing myself standing on the floor waiting to compete in Beijing. I am trying to make these dreams feel as real as possible because when I am actually at the Games; I want to feel in control of the situation, very present, alive, conscious, prepared, determined, confident and trusting of myself and my ability to show off my gymnastics. I guess you could say that I am starting to feel that inner warrior come about and it is such a rewarding feeling because I know that it's my hard work that has brought me to this point.
One thing that has been a little freaky, but also motivating, is how close we really are to the Games. A mere 35 days today. Holy F*@%! Time flies when you're having fun! I have been dealing with this constant ticking of a time bomb by trying to approach every training knowing that it is essentially one training closer to the Games and I need to make it worthwhile. The number of trainings that we have left are limited and the number becomes slimmer by the day. I don't want to back away. I want the time bomb to explode into a powerful and confident performance and not into a million little pieces of "what could have been". I want to know that the deadline is approaching and I want to push myself further than I thought I could. I want to go home every day knowing that I did everything I could do on that particular day to come closer to being ready. I have to admit that sometimes I wish I could stop time, or atleast slow it down for a minute, but then other times I wish that we were only 20 days away so that I could start being even more intense.
I faced a truth about my intensity this week. Sometimes I am in complete denial about it, maybe because I have always been slightly envious of a life with no pressure and responsibility, but when push comes to shove, I am INTENSE. Super intense. One of my closest friends put it into a great context the other day when we were out for a "one pint" Canada Day celebration. We were talking about life and how some people wait for life to happen. They are passive, go with the flow and take things as they come. Then there are the people who make life happen. They are aggressive, always looking for solutions and can't settle for mediocrity. I have always been this type of person. I don't just sit around and wait for opportunities to come my way. I can't. I meticulously plan and make sure that I am putting energy into the right direction in order for my dreams to come true. I realized that intensity is a quality that I possess and I feel very privileged that I am this way.
Some people in this world are afraid to dream and to push themselves beyond their limits. I don't know why, but some people are content with living a life with no responsibility or challenge. Sometimes I feel like I would love a life like this (especially when things are stressful and pressure filled), but then I get realistic and understand that this would never be a way that I could live life. I would feel so unsatisfied. What would be my purpose? I need to accomplish. I crave it. I need goals, I need direction and I need passion. Without these characteristics, my life would not feel complete.
So, as the next 35 days pass, I am going to be as consumed by this process as I can be. I am going to be as focused and intense as possible. Why? Because I want to be at my absolute best in Beijing and being intense is how I will get there.
Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock.
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
This week, I am really looking forward to showing the improvements I've made over the past week and a half since our last camp. My confidence is higher, my trust and belief in myself are elevated and my physical condition is way better than it was even a week ago...everything that I wanted to start coming together is starting to come together and it is so satisfying. Ahhhh...
I am also looking forward to testing myself again in a competition situation. We have 2 test meets, one on Saturday and one on Monday and I am feeling very prepared. I am almost at the point where I am excited to show off how far I have come. Weird.
My heart and soul are deeply invested in this process. It's like I have fallen madly in love with the potential this dream holds. There have been a few days in the past week where I have been on the verge of tears, not because of sadness, but because of joy and pride. I am absolutely loving my physical, mental and emotional conditions. Physically, I don't think I have ever been so strong. I have amazing endurance (and it will just continue to improve!), I feel like skills and routines are starting to become easier. Mentally, I feel like I have a really good grasp on whats important right now and I feel like my perspective and approach are very positive and peaceful. Emotionally, I feel like I am willing to give everything I have within myself.
I want to dream about my Olympic performances every minute I am away from the gym. I have found myself more often than not laying in bed and visualizing myself standing on the floor waiting to compete in Beijing. I am trying to make these dreams feel as real as possible because when I am actually at the Games; I want to feel in control of the situation, very present, alive, conscious, prepared, determined, confident and trusting of myself and my ability to show off my gymnastics. I guess you could say that I am starting to feel that inner warrior come about and it is such a rewarding feeling because I know that it's my hard work that has brought me to this point.
One thing that has been a little freaky, but also motivating, is how close we really are to the Games. A mere 35 days today. Holy F*@%! Time flies when you're having fun! I have been dealing with this constant ticking of a time bomb by trying to approach every training knowing that it is essentially one training closer to the Games and I need to make it worthwhile. The number of trainings that we have left are limited and the number becomes slimmer by the day. I don't want to back away. I want the time bomb to explode into a powerful and confident performance and not into a million little pieces of "what could have been". I want to know that the deadline is approaching and I want to push myself further than I thought I could. I want to go home every day knowing that I did everything I could do on that particular day to come closer to being ready. I have to admit that sometimes I wish I could stop time, or atleast slow it down for a minute, but then other times I wish that we were only 20 days away so that I could start being even more intense.
I faced a truth about my intensity this week. Sometimes I am in complete denial about it, maybe because I have always been slightly envious of a life with no pressure and responsibility, but when push comes to shove, I am INTENSE. Super intense. One of my closest friends put it into a great context the other day when we were out for a "one pint" Canada Day celebration. We were talking about life and how some people wait for life to happen. They are passive, go with the flow and take things as they come. Then there are the people who make life happen. They are aggressive, always looking for solutions and can't settle for mediocrity. I have always been this type of person. I don't just sit around and wait for opportunities to come my way. I can't. I meticulously plan and make sure that I am putting energy into the right direction in order for my dreams to come true. I realized that intensity is a quality that I possess and I feel very privileged that I am this way.
Some people in this world are afraid to dream and to push themselves beyond their limits. I don't know why, but some people are content with living a life with no responsibility or challenge. Sometimes I feel like I would love a life like this (especially when things are stressful and pressure filled), but then I get realistic and understand that this would never be a way that I could live life. I would feel so unsatisfied. What would be my purpose? I need to accomplish. I crave it. I need goals, I need direction and I need passion. Without these characteristics, my life would not feel complete.
So, as the next 35 days pass, I am going to be as consumed by this process as I can be. I am going to be as focused and intense as possible. Why? Because I want to be at my absolute best in Beijing and being intense is how I will get there.
Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock.
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
CBC Interview
This past weekend, CBC aired an hour long documentary style piece about our Olympic selection. I thought it was great! I did an interview for this story and it appears at about the 2:05 mark.
Enjoy!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Enjoy!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Thursday, June 26, 2008
I'm Not Giving In
I thought that I would give a quick update as to how this week has been going.
I feel old, tired, achy and a little bit cranky too. I've had a few freak outs. Today's was particularly awesome - "F----ing Bi--------------------------tch" (the last word was long and loud and had tons of frustration behind it! It echoed for a minute too. haha.). But I only yelled because I really care.
I guess you could say that Mission: Get tired, both mentally and physically = Accomplished. And I still have one day left to go, which I'm way too excited about!
I am actually quite nervous about going to bed tonight because I don't know if I will be able to walk like a normal human being tomorrow morning when I wake up. I am pretty sure that I am going to have to limp, tip toe, shuffle and heave myself to the bathroom in the morning. Ahhhh, the life of an Olympic gymnast. Gotta love it.
I think this is the worst part about pushing yourself your limits...you have to pay before you get your reward. And waking up and feeling like your body has been beaten is a harsh reality of becoming the best in this sport.
The good thing, and something that I try to keep in mind often, is that the reward does come eventually...once you've had some time to recover. That time will come, but not for a little while. There are still a few weeks of 'pushing myself far far beyond my point of comfort' that have to happen. Crazy thing is, as much as I try to evoke the emotion of hate towards feeling like crap, I actually love this feeling. I love punishing myself...don't get me wrong, I'm not into S & M, but when my mind and body are tired and I am on the verge of breaking down then I have evidence that I have been pushing myself hard. If I felt great right now, I would be a little worried.
I can't remember a time in my gymnastics past where I've put forth the effort that I have been lately. I can look back and remember times when I was tired and knew that I had worked hard, but right now is like, 'day in day out, can't waste a minute, must go till death' kind of pushing myself. And with the time I lost because of injury, I desperately need to. I feel this sense of urgency and I am trying to embrace it.
I have been asking myself the question,"How bad do I want this?", many times in the past week. At morning training today I literally could not rebound across the floor in warm up. I felt like my shins were going to explode. But then this afternoon, I came in to the gym knowing that I needed to tumble and I found a way to shut out the pain and just do it.
When you have 42 days left until the most important competition of your life begins, you don't give in. You can't. You want to, but after you have come this far, there is no way that you can let yourself down. They say that champions are not defined by the moments they are on top and feeling great, but rather by how they push themselves forward when they are down and struggling. I am proving to myself that I do have a "Champion's" attitude. There is absolutely no way I am giving in now.
I'm Off to bed...actually I'm half-sleeping already! Wish me luck with surviving one more day!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
I feel old, tired, achy and a little bit cranky too. I've had a few freak outs. Today's was particularly awesome - "F----ing Bi--------------------------tch" (the last word was long and loud and had tons of frustration behind it! It echoed for a minute too. haha.). But I only yelled because I really care.
I guess you could say that Mission: Get tired, both mentally and physically = Accomplished. And I still have one day left to go, which I'm way too excited about!
I am actually quite nervous about going to bed tonight because I don't know if I will be able to walk like a normal human being tomorrow morning when I wake up. I am pretty sure that I am going to have to limp, tip toe, shuffle and heave myself to the bathroom in the morning. Ahhhh, the life of an Olympic gymnast. Gotta love it.
I think this is the worst part about pushing yourself your limits...you have to pay before you get your reward. And waking up and feeling like your body has been beaten is a harsh reality of becoming the best in this sport.
The good thing, and something that I try to keep in mind often, is that the reward does come eventually...once you've had some time to recover. That time will come, but not for a little while. There are still a few weeks of 'pushing myself far far beyond my point of comfort' that have to happen. Crazy thing is, as much as I try to evoke the emotion of hate towards feeling like crap, I actually love this feeling. I love punishing myself...don't get me wrong, I'm not into S & M, but when my mind and body are tired and I am on the verge of breaking down then I have evidence that I have been pushing myself hard. If I felt great right now, I would be a little worried.
I can't remember a time in my gymnastics past where I've put forth the effort that I have been lately. I can look back and remember times when I was tired and knew that I had worked hard, but right now is like, 'day in day out, can't waste a minute, must go till death' kind of pushing myself. And with the time I lost because of injury, I desperately need to. I feel this sense of urgency and I am trying to embrace it.
I have been asking myself the question,"How bad do I want this?", many times in the past week. At morning training today I literally could not rebound across the floor in warm up. I felt like my shins were going to explode. But then this afternoon, I came in to the gym knowing that I needed to tumble and I found a way to shut out the pain and just do it.
When you have 42 days left until the most important competition of your life begins, you don't give in. You can't. You want to, but after you have come this far, there is no way that you can let yourself down. They say that champions are not defined by the moments they are on top and feeling great, but rather by how they push themselves forward when they are down and struggling. I am proving to myself that I do have a "Champion's" attitude. There is absolutely no way I am giving in now.
I'm Off to bed...actually I'm half-sleeping already! Wish me luck with surviving one more day!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Inspired Contentment
I am home now from our first Olympic camp and I feel incredibly energized and motivated. I feel a huge sense of belief in myself and a desire to rise to the next level...which I guess would be Olympic level!
I wasn't dreading last weeks camp before it started, but I was very anxious about it. I had some restless sleeps in the week beforehand thinking about the possibility that I would fail and leave the camp feeling defeated. I definitely didn't want that to happen, but in times of doubt those negative thoughts can come creeping in and rent way too much space in your head.
I knew the day would come where I'd be put into the uncomfortable position of competing again. I say uncomfortable because when you haven't competed in a while, it's pretty scary to step out there and have all eyes on you. It's unfamiliar and you feel very very naked (plus, the tight gymnastics pants don't leave too much to the imagination!)! You can't hide any of your mistakes because everyone is looking for them. I guess I just doubted the strength that I would have inside of myself to face it and make competing again a positive experience.
As it turns out, it was the ultimate positive experience for me. I was so proud and so pleased at the end of the camp. I couldn't wait until I could get back into the gym and become even better!
Just to give a quick run down of my second day of competition: Firstly, it was a lot less stressful than day 1! I definitely felt a lot more confident and comfortable while I was doing my routines. It honestly felt like I was right back in the mix and hadn't missed a beat. I think that everything on the second day was a little bit better than the first. One thing in particular that was a huge improvement was my floor routine. I went through a more difficult routine and it was cleaner than the first day. I did however almost die on my third pass when I just about landed on my head on a 1 3/4 roll out, but I held my flip position a little longer and bounced off of my back rather than imploding my skull into the floor! Some of my teammates told me that this was the first time I had ever scared them on floor (besides when I landed with 2 straight legs!)...believe me, I scared myself a bit.
But doing stupid things like this is part of the process. You need opportunities to make small errors so that you can come back the next time and get some redemption. If anything, I am glad that I made some small mistakes because it has motivated me to fix everything that was a little off.
Right now, as I am sitting here writing this, I am grinning from ear to ear. 'Inspired Contentment' could be the name of the emotion I am experiencing. I am in such a good frame of mind right now. I feel like anything is possible. I am thrilled that I am now in a position where I can push myself to my limit and really show myself what I am made of. I thought that I wanted to succeed badly before, but now, with less than 2 months to go, I feel like nothing can stand in my way. The blinders are on. Gymnastics is my main priority and everything else must take back seat.
I have no time for distractions, nor any desire to misbehave and let myself down. Now is the time to commit myself 100% to my goal. I feel guilty if I do anything that will not bring me one step closer to being my best. I have been eating right (If someone put a bag of Miss Vickie's Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar chips in front of me right now, drool would disgustingly stream from my mouth...that's why I don't have any in my house. Out of sight, out of mind!), taking my vitamins everyday (have you ever had a horse pill get stuck half way down and then you burp vitamin flavour all day??!), icing after each training session (can you say shrinkage?), saying NO to patio outings (that one is killing me!!! soon, Kyle, soon!), going to bed at a very decent hour (Calgary stays light until 10:30 right now...when the sun is down I hibernate)...I am being a very good boy. Discipline is essential to success. There were some crazy times in the past 10 months where I went to bed not knowing what the next day would hold. It was almost as if I was hoping to feel great as the sun rose. Now though, I am taking control and I making sure to do everything in my power to ensure that I wake up feeling alive, passionate and ready to push myself.
My main priority for this week is to do as many numbers as possible. I need to be tired, both physically and mentally by the end of this week. I need to know that I can do a great routine even when I am tired. This way I will know that when I feel fresh and it's time to do the routine in competition then it will be easy as pie. We have one week of training in our home gym and then its back into another camp starting July 3rd. I am really looking forward to being even more ready!
I love this shift that I am experiencing. I am going from an athlete to a competitor. I knew this time would come, I just didn't know when. The transition that I am experiencing in terms of confidence, focus and presence is uplifting and powerful. I think the past training camp lifted my spirit and my confidence in the exact way that I needed it to. I proved to myself that I am almost there. I showed myself that I am capable of this.
It's no longer a dream, it's right in front of me and it's up to me to make the most of this beautiful opportunity.
Kyle
ps- I filmed some video's from camp and will get them up as soon as I can.
www.kyleshewfelt.com
I wasn't dreading last weeks camp before it started, but I was very anxious about it. I had some restless sleeps in the week beforehand thinking about the possibility that I would fail and leave the camp feeling defeated. I definitely didn't want that to happen, but in times of doubt those negative thoughts can come creeping in and rent way too much space in your head.
I knew the day would come where I'd be put into the uncomfortable position of competing again. I say uncomfortable because when you haven't competed in a while, it's pretty scary to step out there and have all eyes on you. It's unfamiliar and you feel very very naked (plus, the tight gymnastics pants don't leave too much to the imagination!)! You can't hide any of your mistakes because everyone is looking for them. I guess I just doubted the strength that I would have inside of myself to face it and make competing again a positive experience.
As it turns out, it was the ultimate positive experience for me. I was so proud and so pleased at the end of the camp. I couldn't wait until I could get back into the gym and become even better!
Just to give a quick run down of my second day of competition: Firstly, it was a lot less stressful than day 1! I definitely felt a lot more confident and comfortable while I was doing my routines. It honestly felt like I was right back in the mix and hadn't missed a beat. I think that everything on the second day was a little bit better than the first. One thing in particular that was a huge improvement was my floor routine. I went through a more difficult routine and it was cleaner than the first day. I did however almost die on my third pass when I just about landed on my head on a 1 3/4 roll out, but I held my flip position a little longer and bounced off of my back rather than imploding my skull into the floor! Some of my teammates told me that this was the first time I had ever scared them on floor (besides when I landed with 2 straight legs!)...believe me, I scared myself a bit.
But doing stupid things like this is part of the process. You need opportunities to make small errors so that you can come back the next time and get some redemption. If anything, I am glad that I made some small mistakes because it has motivated me to fix everything that was a little off.
Right now, as I am sitting here writing this, I am grinning from ear to ear. 'Inspired Contentment' could be the name of the emotion I am experiencing. I am in such a good frame of mind right now. I feel like anything is possible. I am thrilled that I am now in a position where I can push myself to my limit and really show myself what I am made of. I thought that I wanted to succeed badly before, but now, with less than 2 months to go, I feel like nothing can stand in my way. The blinders are on. Gymnastics is my main priority and everything else must take back seat.
I have no time for distractions, nor any desire to misbehave and let myself down. Now is the time to commit myself 100% to my goal. I feel guilty if I do anything that will not bring me one step closer to being my best. I have been eating right (If someone put a bag of Miss Vickie's Sea Salt and Malt Vinegar chips in front of me right now, drool would disgustingly stream from my mouth...that's why I don't have any in my house. Out of sight, out of mind!), taking my vitamins everyday (have you ever had a horse pill get stuck half way down and then you burp vitamin flavour all day??!), icing after each training session (can you say shrinkage?), saying NO to patio outings (that one is killing me!!! soon, Kyle, soon!), going to bed at a very decent hour (Calgary stays light until 10:30 right now...when the sun is down I hibernate)...I am being a very good boy. Discipline is essential to success. There were some crazy times in the past 10 months where I went to bed not knowing what the next day would hold. It was almost as if I was hoping to feel great as the sun rose. Now though, I am taking control and I making sure to do everything in my power to ensure that I wake up feeling alive, passionate and ready to push myself.
My main priority for this week is to do as many numbers as possible. I need to be tired, both physically and mentally by the end of this week. I need to know that I can do a great routine even when I am tired. This way I will know that when I feel fresh and it's time to do the routine in competition then it will be easy as pie. We have one week of training in our home gym and then its back into another camp starting July 3rd. I am really looking forward to being even more ready!
I love this shift that I am experiencing. I am going from an athlete to a competitor. I knew this time would come, I just didn't know when. The transition that I am experiencing in terms of confidence, focus and presence is uplifting and powerful. I think the past training camp lifted my spirit and my confidence in the exact way that I needed it to. I proved to myself that I am almost there. I showed myself that I am capable of this.
It's no longer a dream, it's right in front of me and it's up to me to make the most of this beautiful opportunity.
Kyle
ps- I filmed some video's from camp and will get them up as soon as I can.
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Friday, June 20, 2008
I'm Baaaack!
I'm Baaaack!
I have to admit, I was pretty nervous in the day leading up to last nights competition. I tried to be calm and cool and just conserve my energy so that I would be able to explode when it was time to compete.
During warm up I tried to stay relaxed by taking lots of deep breaths and moving at a slow pace in between turns. I didn't want to go off and then have nothing left for the competition. I just wanted to get warm and hit one of each skill.
I am a planner. I've discussed it here before, but planning keeps me feeling calm and in control. I made a plan in the afternoon yesterday and I followed it to a T during warm up. Run, stretch, basic tumbling, vault, highbar, rings and then floor.
After the warm up was over, it was time to compete.
During our competition yesterday, we had a pretty big audience at the gym. Nothing crazy, but a good 150-200 people. That's not bad for a gymnastics meet in Canada! Usually we only have 5 people watching our test competitions. It was great to have an audience. I really liked having people in the gym. It created some electricity and some atmosphere that I think all of the guys enjoyed and appreciated.
The competition started on rings - this will be our first event in Beijing and so we will be starting with this event during all of our test competitions over the summer. I think this is an awesome place to start because it's quite hard to make mistakes on rings and you are almost guaranteed to stay on the apparatus! I have never seen anyone "fall" off of rings!
Because I am the weakest member of our team on rings, I'm the lucky one who gets to start the party! The way it usually works is that a team has their weakest guy go first and then the strongest guy go last so that the scores build. This creates some momentum and it gives the 'strongest' guy some more time to prepare himself to be a beast!!!
Well, being first up was a bit nerve wracking. Not only because I haven't competed in a while, but also because I wanted to start the day off right for myself and my team. When I was standing there waiting to compete, I kept trying to remind myself that this was just another routine and I needed to be relaxed and present.
Finally, after all of the other guys were done there one touch warm up, the head judge saluted me and it was go time!
Tony, my coach, lifted me up to the rings. I got a good grip and just hung there for a second. The music was playing softly in the background and I could vaguely hear it. Then, to my surprise, I heard the music turn off. I was completely distracted for a second. It was absolutely silent. It became very clear to me that every eye in the building was watching me. Oh shit.
Well, after the initial shock and distraction of silence, I figured that there wasn't much I could do about it so I quickly focused myself and began my routine.
I held my strength moves and swung pretty cleanly. I did my dismount, a tucked double twisting double back, and took a small step. I was on my feet and really happy with the way it went.
The crowd cheered! My teammates gave me props. One of my teammates, Dave Kikuchi, welcomed me back to the world of competitive gymnastics!
I was relieved! First routine down.
Oh, how I love competing!
My next event was vault. I felt fast and smooth on my run, tight and quick on my take off and I absolutely nailed my landing. I picked up right where I left off 10 months ago...well, maybe I'm a little wiser and more appreciative of my ability since then!
I don't compete on parallel bars, but was treated to awesome performances by my team. The whole time I was watching I was trying to pretend that this was the Olympics and I needed to stay focused and warm for my next 2 events, highbar and floor.
I was uber nervous for highbar. I don't know why, but I always get into a weird state of mind when it comes to competing this event. It might be because the routine that I do is very easy for me and I want to do it perfectly and that distracts me a bit because I don't see much room for error. I also know that I should be able to perform it easily and I take that for granted a bit.
Before I competed here, I tried to get myself into a really present and positive mind set. I told myself to be a warrior and attack the routine.
I saluted the judges and got lifted up to the bar.
I brought my toes to the bar, did a beat swing and swung up to handstand. After catching both of my release moves, I only had a few small deductions through out the rest of the routine (a couple of missed handstands and a heel bonk on one of my inbar elements). I can definitely make it cleaner over the next weeks, but I was really happy that I hit my routine!
3 routines down, 3 hits, one left to go...floor, the BIG one.
I was most anxious about this routine. Not only because I am the current Olympic Champion on this event, but because it is the routine that I have had the least amount of numbers on. For me, it has been the biggest challenge because I want to be GREAT on this event, not just content with average.
As it was my turn to perform, I could sense the anticipation in the crowd. I could also sense it within the coaches, my teammates and myself.
I tried to rely on my previous competition experience and trust that I was going to be fast and aggressive when I needed to be.
The judges gave me the go ahead. I saluted them and got into my zone.
I took a deep breath, stepped into the corner and began my routine.
First pass: arabian double pike. HUGE!
Second pass: clean
third pass: smooth, but then I bailed out on the third skill and just did a front pike rather than a 1 3/4 roll out. It's OK. Keep going.
Fourth pass: whip, layout thomas (this is a new addition!). Successfully done.
Fifth pass: Handspring to front double twist. Clean.
Then I had a decision to make. Was I going to go for a full-twisting double back or be ultra safe and just do a simple layout dismount. I felt strength and determination in my legs and my mind so I went for the full twisting double back...and landed it! Phew.
I think this had to be my biggest victory of the day (it is and was pretty obvious, I'm sure). Even though I made a couple of mistakes and used mats on most of my passes, I felt like this was a HUGE step forward. I was ecstatic when I completed this routine. I felt like I validated my potential to myself, my team, the coaches, judges, audience and press. Being out there competing on the floor felt so right.
Now, I have a confession to make: during the week of Nationals, I created a new routine with a big start value and I neglected to share. It was just an idea at first, something that I wanted to play around with, but then I thought really hard about it and decided that it was actually possible.
Not only is it possible, but I believe I will be able to do it well. I'm inspired.
I am going to push myself to get 6 tumbling passes in my routine. In Athens I had 4 and I have been doing 5 passes through all of this cycle. Now I guess urgency has been creeping up on me and I have given in. I was completely against 6 passes in a floor routine because I think it takes away an athletes opportunity to do some artistic corner parts. These creative and artistic elements are how I earned my international reputation and I think it was the big factor that contributed to my victory at the last Olympic Games. But, the good news is that I think I have come up with a blend of tumbling and artistry that will not compromise my integrity or my style.
Yesterday was the first day that I competed a routine with 6 passes. Could it be true that I am actually IMPROVING after my injury??? Maybe. Just maybe :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mission: Compete Again = Complete.
I felt proud. I felt overwhelmed. I felt energized. I felt comfortable and I felt inspired.
It was a grand day for me and I managed to take a moment at the end of it all and really appreciate the opportunity. I have fought so hard to get to this point. I still have a ways to go, but everyday I am proving to myself that I can do it. One small victory at a time.
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
ps- I forgot how hard it was to sleep after a competition. I was friggin' wired all night long!
I have to admit, I was pretty nervous in the day leading up to last nights competition. I tried to be calm and cool and just conserve my energy so that I would be able to explode when it was time to compete.
During warm up I tried to stay relaxed by taking lots of deep breaths and moving at a slow pace in between turns. I didn't want to go off and then have nothing left for the competition. I just wanted to get warm and hit one of each skill.
I am a planner. I've discussed it here before, but planning keeps me feeling calm and in control. I made a plan in the afternoon yesterday and I followed it to a T during warm up. Run, stretch, basic tumbling, vault, highbar, rings and then floor.
After the warm up was over, it was time to compete.
During our competition yesterday, we had a pretty big audience at the gym. Nothing crazy, but a good 150-200 people. That's not bad for a gymnastics meet in Canada! Usually we only have 5 people watching our test competitions. It was great to have an audience. I really liked having people in the gym. It created some electricity and some atmosphere that I think all of the guys enjoyed and appreciated.
The competition started on rings - this will be our first event in Beijing and so we will be starting with this event during all of our test competitions over the summer. I think this is an awesome place to start because it's quite hard to make mistakes on rings and you are almost guaranteed to stay on the apparatus! I have never seen anyone "fall" off of rings!
Because I am the weakest member of our team on rings, I'm the lucky one who gets to start the party! The way it usually works is that a team has their weakest guy go first and then the strongest guy go last so that the scores build. This creates some momentum and it gives the 'strongest' guy some more time to prepare himself to be a beast!!!
Well, being first up was a bit nerve wracking. Not only because I haven't competed in a while, but also because I wanted to start the day off right for myself and my team. When I was standing there waiting to compete, I kept trying to remind myself that this was just another routine and I needed to be relaxed and present.
Finally, after all of the other guys were done there one touch warm up, the head judge saluted me and it was go time!
Tony, my coach, lifted me up to the rings. I got a good grip and just hung there for a second. The music was playing softly in the background and I could vaguely hear it. Then, to my surprise, I heard the music turn off. I was completely distracted for a second. It was absolutely silent. It became very clear to me that every eye in the building was watching me. Oh shit.
Well, after the initial shock and distraction of silence, I figured that there wasn't much I could do about it so I quickly focused myself and began my routine.
I held my strength moves and swung pretty cleanly. I did my dismount, a tucked double twisting double back, and took a small step. I was on my feet and really happy with the way it went.
The crowd cheered! My teammates gave me props. One of my teammates, Dave Kikuchi, welcomed me back to the world of competitive gymnastics!
I was relieved! First routine down.
Oh, how I love competing!
My next event was vault. I felt fast and smooth on my run, tight and quick on my take off and I absolutely nailed my landing. I picked up right where I left off 10 months ago...well, maybe I'm a little wiser and more appreciative of my ability since then!
I don't compete on parallel bars, but was treated to awesome performances by my team. The whole time I was watching I was trying to pretend that this was the Olympics and I needed to stay focused and warm for my next 2 events, highbar and floor.
I was uber nervous for highbar. I don't know why, but I always get into a weird state of mind when it comes to competing this event. It might be because the routine that I do is very easy for me and I want to do it perfectly and that distracts me a bit because I don't see much room for error. I also know that I should be able to perform it easily and I take that for granted a bit.
Before I competed here, I tried to get myself into a really present and positive mind set. I told myself to be a warrior and attack the routine.
I saluted the judges and got lifted up to the bar.
I brought my toes to the bar, did a beat swing and swung up to handstand. After catching both of my release moves, I only had a few small deductions through out the rest of the routine (a couple of missed handstands and a heel bonk on one of my inbar elements). I can definitely make it cleaner over the next weeks, but I was really happy that I hit my routine!
3 routines down, 3 hits, one left to go...floor, the BIG one.
I was most anxious about this routine. Not only because I am the current Olympic Champion on this event, but because it is the routine that I have had the least amount of numbers on. For me, it has been the biggest challenge because I want to be GREAT on this event, not just content with average.
As it was my turn to perform, I could sense the anticipation in the crowd. I could also sense it within the coaches, my teammates and myself.
I tried to rely on my previous competition experience and trust that I was going to be fast and aggressive when I needed to be.
The judges gave me the go ahead. I saluted them and got into my zone.
I took a deep breath, stepped into the corner and began my routine.
First pass: arabian double pike. HUGE!
Second pass: clean
third pass: smooth, but then I bailed out on the third skill and just did a front pike rather than a 1 3/4 roll out. It's OK. Keep going.
Fourth pass: whip, layout thomas (this is a new addition!). Successfully done.
Fifth pass: Handspring to front double twist. Clean.
Then I had a decision to make. Was I going to go for a full-twisting double back or be ultra safe and just do a simple layout dismount. I felt strength and determination in my legs and my mind so I went for the full twisting double back...and landed it! Phew.
I think this had to be my biggest victory of the day (it is and was pretty obvious, I'm sure). Even though I made a couple of mistakes and used mats on most of my passes, I felt like this was a HUGE step forward. I was ecstatic when I completed this routine. I felt like I validated my potential to myself, my team, the coaches, judges, audience and press. Being out there competing on the floor felt so right.
Now, I have a confession to make: during the week of Nationals, I created a new routine with a big start value and I neglected to share. It was just an idea at first, something that I wanted to play around with, but then I thought really hard about it and decided that it was actually possible.
Not only is it possible, but I believe I will be able to do it well. I'm inspired.
I am going to push myself to get 6 tumbling passes in my routine. In Athens I had 4 and I have been doing 5 passes through all of this cycle. Now I guess urgency has been creeping up on me and I have given in. I was completely against 6 passes in a floor routine because I think it takes away an athletes opportunity to do some artistic corner parts. These creative and artistic elements are how I earned my international reputation and I think it was the big factor that contributed to my victory at the last Olympic Games. But, the good news is that I think I have come up with a blend of tumbling and artistry that will not compromise my integrity or my style.
Yesterday was the first day that I competed a routine with 6 passes. Could it be true that I am actually IMPROVING after my injury??? Maybe. Just maybe :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mission: Compete Again = Complete.
I felt proud. I felt overwhelmed. I felt energized. I felt comfortable and I felt inspired.
It was a grand day for me and I managed to take a moment at the end of it all and really appreciate the opportunity. I have fought so hard to get to this point. I still have a ways to go, but everyday I am proving to myself that I can do it. One small victory at a time.
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
ps- I forgot how hard it was to sleep after a competition. I was friggin' wired all night long!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Competing Tonight
I just wanted to give a quick update.
I am in Edmonton right now for our first Olympic training camp. Things are going great and we compete in a 'test' competition tonight! It will be the first time I'll perform my routines in front of judges in a competition setting since my injury. Exciting, but a little scary!
I'm using tonight as an opportunity to gage where I'm at. I've been working hard in the gym and I hope tonight confirms that. I am not expecting too much. I just want to trust myself and hit my routines. Tonight is my starting off point and I keep telling myself that I need to start somewhere!
I am looking forward to the adrenaline rush that competition brings. It's been a while since I've had those pre-competition butterflies. In fact, I am starting to get them right now. I feel like my heart is beating a little faster and my hands are a little shaky. I am trying to embrace these feelings and recognize that they are good things. They will help me tonight.
This afternoon I am going to do a lot of visualization and spend a lot of time convincing myself that I am ready. This is definitely a very normal way for me to act in the lead up to a competition. I kind of get into my own little world and start building up my strength, power and confidence. I want to attack my performance tonight. I want to rise to the occasion and not back away from it.
I know that people are going to be watching and expecting me to be in "Olympic Champion" form. I am simply not going to be at the same point tonight that I want to be at in Beijing. I am going to be a bit rusty, but it will be a chance for me to work out the kinks and start this process of being ready for the Games.
Wish me luck and stay tuned for an update.
Now, it's time to Breath, Relax and Chill. Tonight is going to be fun!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
I am in Edmonton right now for our first Olympic training camp. Things are going great and we compete in a 'test' competition tonight! It will be the first time I'll perform my routines in front of judges in a competition setting since my injury. Exciting, but a little scary!
I'm using tonight as an opportunity to gage where I'm at. I've been working hard in the gym and I hope tonight confirms that. I am not expecting too much. I just want to trust myself and hit my routines. Tonight is my starting off point and I keep telling myself that I need to start somewhere!
I am looking forward to the adrenaline rush that competition brings. It's been a while since I've had those pre-competition butterflies. In fact, I am starting to get them right now. I feel like my heart is beating a little faster and my hands are a little shaky. I am trying to embrace these feelings and recognize that they are good things. They will help me tonight.
This afternoon I am going to do a lot of visualization and spend a lot of time convincing myself that I am ready. This is definitely a very normal way for me to act in the lead up to a competition. I kind of get into my own little world and start building up my strength, power and confidence. I want to attack my performance tonight. I want to rise to the occasion and not back away from it.
I know that people are going to be watching and expecting me to be in "Olympic Champion" form. I am simply not going to be at the same point tonight that I want to be at in Beijing. I am going to be a bit rusty, but it will be a chance for me to work out the kinks and start this process of being ready for the Games.
Wish me luck and stay tuned for an update.
Now, it's time to Breath, Relax and Chill. Tonight is going to be fun!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Monday, June 09, 2008
Top Secret
My decision to withdraw from the Canadian Championships last week was absolutely the right decision. Without the stress and worry of not being fully ready for competition, the week turned out to be incredibly productive. I was a man on a mission and I had some amazing training!
I made training my priority last week (the week of Nationals is usually an opportunity to get overloaded with interviews, school visits, autograph signings etc. and forget about taking care of #1). I made my media schedule conducive to a little breather before my training started. I cut off my autograph signings at the time I said I would because I needed to get to the gym. I am usually the type of guy who will sign until the very last person gets their turn, but this week I needed to be a bit selfish. I hope I didn't disappoint any kids...
I was in uplifted spirits all week. You know how sometimes you see people and you just tell them that you are doing awesome, but it's not a genuine, heart felt and believable "I'm Awesome!". Well, last week I actually believed myself when I told people how I was doing because quite frankly, I felt bloody awesome all week long! I felt like everything was starting to fall into place and I felt excited about the surprises I am going to show people when I am back into the mix in a few weeks.
I felt like people didn't know if they should believe me or not when I told them I am doing great. In all reality, I withdrew from the competition and no one really saw me train. What would I expect them to believe based on the evidence. I trained in my 'home' gym and not in the 'Nationals' training gym with the rest of the crew. It's hard to predict where a gymnast really is at unless you see them train. I guess I was in top secret training mode. I felt like I was completely in the background getting myself prepared...kind of like Rocky or something. Eye of the Tiger! I wasn't in the spotlight or the forefront and coming to my training session was like an exclusive "invitation only" kind of deal. I felt like a musician preparing for their tour and only a few people got backstage passes to see the rehearsal.
But those who did come (our National coach Edouard, my former coach Kelly, my good friends Chris and Cindy Waller) told me that they were blown away! It was a great feeling to get promising reviews from people who's opinions I really value.
My hard work is paying off. It really is. Things are starting to feel easier every day. I know that I am getting into great shape when I come into the gym and my brain is a little tired, but my body is able to do my routines. That, to me, is the difference between getting into shape and being in shape; being in shape means that you don't have to think too much.
One of my teammates, Nathan (who you might remember as the 'amazing' singer in some of my previous videos), had a rough day on Thursday. He is a highbar genius, but couldn't put it together during Thursday's competition. He looked like a deer in headlights and he came off of the bar a couple of times. After finishing up his routine he walked away and looked like he had just seen someone get hit by a car (I think he felt like he was run over by a bus). I took him into the back training gym and let him vent out his frustrations to me. He was clearly upset at his inability to go out there and show the judges, the coaches and the audience how great he actually is on highbar. When he expressed this to me, something inside of my own brain clicked...he was thinking too much before he went. He was thinking about the judges. He was thinking about the coaches (granted, Edouard our National coach was standing right there with intimidation written all over his face!). He was thinking too much about the outcome of the routine and not enough about the actual performance. Uh huh! Eureka. A discovery was made. Thinking too much before a routine can actually make the routine go bad. I think that an athletes biggest enemy is themselves and sometimes their own thoughts. When you salute the judge you need to let your body take over and turn your brain off.
So what does an athlete do when they have had a disastrous performance and must finish the competition. I guess there are 2 options. 1. Dwell on it and suck even more. 2. Accept that it happened, get focused and fight like you've never fought before on your next events. Luckily, Nathan chose option 2 and rocked his floor routine. I like to call it the "F%$^ it, F%$^ that, F#$% what happened, F#$% everyone and get F^%$in focused!" option. The heat of the moment makes me say the "F" word a lot! I should have been a trucker...
Watching my teammates compete gave me butterflies. Firstly because I am excited about getting out there and competing, but secondly because our team is on FIRE! The guys all looked awesome. Of course, there were a few mistakes, but that is perfectly fine 2 months before the games. It gives you something to work on and will keep you working hard towards the Olympics. Sometimes when you are perfect too early then you get bored and training seems like a chore, but when you have improvements to make then you feel inspired. I guess the thought of "being better than you already are" turns the crank of many athletes, me included.
This men's team is the best Canada has ever produced. We have a core group of guys who could all legitimately be on the team. We have never experienced this depth before and I think it will lead us to achieving history in Beijing!
Congratulations to all of the guys on another successful Nationals. I'm looking forward to spending the next 2 months training beside them rather than in the background!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
I made training my priority last week (the week of Nationals is usually an opportunity to get overloaded with interviews, school visits, autograph signings etc. and forget about taking care of #1). I made my media schedule conducive to a little breather before my training started. I cut off my autograph signings at the time I said I would because I needed to get to the gym. I am usually the type of guy who will sign until the very last person gets their turn, but this week I needed to be a bit selfish. I hope I didn't disappoint any kids...
I was in uplifted spirits all week. You know how sometimes you see people and you just tell them that you are doing awesome, but it's not a genuine, heart felt and believable "I'm Awesome!". Well, last week I actually believed myself when I told people how I was doing because quite frankly, I felt bloody awesome all week long! I felt like everything was starting to fall into place and I felt excited about the surprises I am going to show people when I am back into the mix in a few weeks.
I felt like people didn't know if they should believe me or not when I told them I am doing great. In all reality, I withdrew from the competition and no one really saw me train. What would I expect them to believe based on the evidence. I trained in my 'home' gym and not in the 'Nationals' training gym with the rest of the crew. It's hard to predict where a gymnast really is at unless you see them train. I guess I was in top secret training mode. I felt like I was completely in the background getting myself prepared...kind of like Rocky or something. Eye of the Tiger! I wasn't in the spotlight or the forefront and coming to my training session was like an exclusive "invitation only" kind of deal. I felt like a musician preparing for their tour and only a few people got backstage passes to see the rehearsal.
But those who did come (our National coach Edouard, my former coach Kelly, my good friends Chris and Cindy Waller) told me that they were blown away! It was a great feeling to get promising reviews from people who's opinions I really value.
My hard work is paying off. It really is. Things are starting to feel easier every day. I know that I am getting into great shape when I come into the gym and my brain is a little tired, but my body is able to do my routines. That, to me, is the difference between getting into shape and being in shape; being in shape means that you don't have to think too much.
One of my teammates, Nathan (who you might remember as the 'amazing' singer in some of my previous videos), had a rough day on Thursday. He is a highbar genius, but couldn't put it together during Thursday's competition. He looked like a deer in headlights and he came off of the bar a couple of times. After finishing up his routine he walked away and looked like he had just seen someone get hit by a car (I think he felt like he was run over by a bus). I took him into the back training gym and let him vent out his frustrations to me. He was clearly upset at his inability to go out there and show the judges, the coaches and the audience how great he actually is on highbar. When he expressed this to me, something inside of my own brain clicked...he was thinking too much before he went. He was thinking about the judges. He was thinking about the coaches (granted, Edouard our National coach was standing right there with intimidation written all over his face!). He was thinking too much about the outcome of the routine and not enough about the actual performance. Uh huh! Eureka. A discovery was made. Thinking too much before a routine can actually make the routine go bad. I think that an athletes biggest enemy is themselves and sometimes their own thoughts. When you salute the judge you need to let your body take over and turn your brain off.
So what does an athlete do when they have had a disastrous performance and must finish the competition. I guess there are 2 options. 1. Dwell on it and suck even more. 2. Accept that it happened, get focused and fight like you've never fought before on your next events. Luckily, Nathan chose option 2 and rocked his floor routine. I like to call it the "F%$^ it, F%$^ that, F#$% what happened, F#$% everyone and get F^%$in focused!" option. The heat of the moment makes me say the "F" word a lot! I should have been a trucker...
Watching my teammates compete gave me butterflies. Firstly because I am excited about getting out there and competing, but secondly because our team is on FIRE! The guys all looked awesome. Of course, there were a few mistakes, but that is perfectly fine 2 months before the games. It gives you something to work on and will keep you working hard towards the Olympics. Sometimes when you are perfect too early then you get bored and training seems like a chore, but when you have improvements to make then you feel inspired. I guess the thought of "being better than you already are" turns the crank of many athletes, me included.
This men's team is the best Canada has ever produced. We have a core group of guys who could all legitimately be on the team. We have never experienced this depth before and I think it will lead us to achieving history in Beijing!
Congratulations to all of the guys on another successful Nationals. I'm looking forward to spending the next 2 months training beside them rather than in the background!
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Withdrawing From Canadian Championships
Over the past couple of months I have had the goal and intention of competing at the Canadian Championships (CC's). I originally thought that it would be the perfect opportunity to show how far I have progressed and to get back into the "competition" swing of things.
But, I'm not quite there yet. I tried. I really, really tried. A week or so ago, I felt something sink inside of my stomach as the thought of competing became a REAL reality. I'm just not ready to go out there and make myself vulnerable. I am not confident enough yet to come out of this competition with positive feelings. I haven't been able to do the numbers that I need to in order to feel like this could be an experience that would propel me forward.
I have the tendency to trust my gut and listen to my heart. I’m very thankful for that. When I don't; I always end up regretting it. Like when I bought my hardwood. I knew I shouldn't have gotten it from “Floors R Us”, but I didn't listen. I just wanted to get it done. That was a mistake. I don't want to make a mistake in this process, especially when I am so close to being back in the game.
This time around my gut is telling me that not competing this week will put me in the exact position I need to be in. I need to spend this week training and putting in the numbers I missed out on because of my injury. I need to do each turn with the intention that it is the only one that counts, but I am not quite in a position where I feel it would be positive to put myself out there and actually have consequences for messing up a routine. I don't like competing when I don't feel prepared. It's like throwing someone into shark infested waters! That's just trouble waiting to happen. I can swim, but those sharks are a little scary right now (I guess the sharks would be the external expectation).
I am better off now because I prepared for this competition, but I know deep inside that not competing is absolutely the right decision.
For those of you who haven't noticed, I set quite a high standard for myself. I'm a perfectionist. It’s one of my best and worst qualities all in one! I like to show what I am capable of and not what I am lacking. I know the severity of my injury. I know how hard I have worked and how far I have come. I know better than anyone how far I have left to go. The thing is, not everyone knows the position I am in. Not everyone knows what circumstances my gymnastics is in right now. As much as I like to pretend that I don't care about other peoples opinions, I actually do. We all do to some degree, especially gymnasts. I gain momentum when I hear positive feedback. I like praise, just like a dog! I know when I am doing a bad job. In lots of cases, I don't need to be told what I am doing wrong. I work better when I am praised on the things I am doing right. There is no better feeling than knowing that someone has noticed your effort. But on the flip side, there is no worse feeling than being called out for your lack of preparation. And my lack of preparation was completely out of my control. I prepared the best I could...I’m just not “there” yet. Almost.
I made a list of pros and cons before I made my decision. There were many on each side of the list, but the one that really stood out was my main goal and priority: To be at my best in
In my mind, 2 months is enough time. I know myself and I know my body and I know that 2 months is the optimal amount of time for me to turn it on and get GREAT! Before
So, of course, the loaded question:
Will this effect my chances at earning a spot on the team?
And the answer:
Everyone at Gymnastics Canada has been extremely supportive. My spot will not be jeopardized. They trust me. They know that if I say I am not quite ready to compete then I am not quite ready. But when it is time to show my readiness at the camps, I will. I am experienced and I have never missed a routine in Olympic competition. I care more about this than anyone else does. My life is invested in this. And they know that.
I am very thankful that I have this trust and support. It really does mean a lot.
I have been assured that I will be invited to the camps and I will get a fair shot at making this team. I will earn that spot. I don’t want it handed to me. I want to show that I deserve to represent
Yesterday (Monday), at training, Edouard came in and checked out my progress. He was very impressed! I showed him a routine on floor with full difficulty middle passes and basic first and last lines. Then I did a couple sky high Arabian double pikes and full in dismounts. I vaulted 5 great Yurchenko 2.5’s. I hit highbar and ring routines too…He seemed excited and told me I look great. That’s not an easy compliment to get out of Eddy!
So, I guess you could say that I am on the verge of readiness. I am feeling really good. I am getting strong, lean and my routine shape is coming. I just need a little more time before I suit up into my tight singlet and little short shorts and show the World that Kyle Shewfelt is back and ready to go!
Kyle
ps- I also wanted to let everyone know that my new website (www.kyleshewfelt.com) has been launched and my blogs are available there. Please let me know your feedback!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Important "Things to Do"
Firstly, there is a new amateur sports TV Network in the works for Canada. How exciting! Please go to the CASN website and show your support!
This is something that I believe needs to become a reality. Athletes deserve to be recognized and the country deserves to be inspired!
Secondly, the CANFUND has an awesome fundraising campaign called "$8 for 08.08.08". The goal is to have 50,000 Canadians donate $8 to the Canadian Athletes Now Fund. Think about it, if 50,000 people donated only $8 that would be $400,000. WOW! Who can't afford 8 bucks? I just donated and I think you should too. Here's the link:
I have received the CANFUND numerous times and it is an amazing initiative that recognizes the importance of funding Canada's amateur athletes!
Now I want to know how many of you actually acted on this! Let me feel like I have some POWER!!! Soon, I will take over the world!!
Thanks,
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
This is something that I believe needs to become a reality. Athletes deserve to be recognized and the country deserves to be inspired!
Secondly, the CANFUND has an awesome fundraising campaign called "$8 for 08.08.08". The goal is to have 50,000 Canadians donate $8 to the Canadian Athletes Now Fund. Think about it, if 50,000 people donated only $8 that would be $400,000. WOW! Who can't afford 8 bucks? I just donated and I think you should too. Here's the link:
I have received the CANFUND numerous times and it is an amazing initiative that recognizes the importance of funding Canada's amateur athletes!
Now I want to know how many of you actually acted on this! Let me feel like I have some POWER!!! Soon, I will take over the world!!
Thanks,
Kyle
www.kyleshewfelt.com
Monday, May 26, 2008
Are Pain and Exhaustion Rewards or Punishments??
Hard work leads to so many things. It leads to progress, increased confidence, improved strength and a sense of pride and accomplishment. But what I am finding lately is that hard work also leads to pain and exhaustion!
For the past couple of weeks, I have been coming home after training and struggling to keep my eyes open. My usual routine is to get home around 5 pm, have a visit with my best TV friend, Ellen, and make some dinner. Well, recently I have been adding a 20 minute nap session to that routine. It's all I can do to feel alive enough to cook. I hope Ellen doesn’t mind my absence for the short nap. I know, I know, I should really just dance, but it’s hard to bust a move at half effort.
The reason I am so tired is because I have been working hard. So hard that when I am not in training; I am in a constant state of pain and exhaustion.
Yesterday I went to my parents for dinner and I was unusually quiet at the table. I am usually blurting out stupid things and embarrassing my family (they always tell me to remember my "family dinner filter". I don't have one, I'm sorry!), but not yesterday. I was too tired to be a joker. Then, right after we were finished eating, I just had to lie down. So I did so right in front of the refrigerator in the middle of the kitchen floor. I planted myself there and didn't move. I couldn't move. It was 7pm and I was ready for bed!
Luckily my little cousin, Delaney, thought that it would be fun to crawl over her big cousin Kyle, which kept me awake for an extra little while. If I didn't have a rug rat digging her chubby legs into my chest then I would have been out for the count right there!
So here's my question: are pain and exhaustion rewards or punishments??
I believe that there are two types of pain and fatigue. There is the type that I had right after surgery...I'm pretty sure that was a punishment, if not for me then for those around me! haha. It was brutal and I never want to experience pain like that again. OUCH! Then there is the kind of pain and exhaustion that I am experiencing right now. I would have to say that this type has been well earned.
When you are an athlete and you NEED to close your eyes, your body is telling you that you have done well. When your brain says "sleep", it's actually telling you that you have put your full effort forward and you need to recover. When your body says, 'please don't move' or "holy crap, your back is broken", what it is actually telling you is that you've done well and you need some time to rest.
I try to recognize these feelings as rewards. But why oh why does a reward have to feel so awful sometimes?
I guess it's because success is a process. If a task provides instant gratification, then it's not worth doing. Rewards need to be earned. Sport is all about pushing yourself through the times that 'feel' like punishment. This is the factor that really leads to accomplishment of your goals.
The past few weeks have been pure hard work for me. I have been trying to approach each day knowing that I need to squeeze out every ounce of potential that it holds. I know that every day, and every turn for that matter, is going to make a difference. I guess I've always known this, but now I am facing a time line of 2 months and I seem to feel the urgency a little more than usual.
I am making up for a lot of lost time. I haven't had the luxury of doing routines for the past 9 months. In fact, I just started putting them together. What I have to do is to find a balance between reaching my maximum potential each day and going so hard that I end up killing myself and my body. There is a fine line between the two sides and I am trying hard to stay firmly on the edge of one (the maximum potential side of course!).
Right now is the time when I have to take 3 turns to my teammates 1. I have to practice extreme focus on each turn as well because I don't want to get hurt. I don't think I can handle another setback and so I am trying to protect myself while still pushing myself. This is an incredibly tiring time for me because I am giving everything I have when I am in the gym. I am not saving a bead of sweat or a millisecond of focus for when I am finished. My day is basically done when I walk out of the gym and get into my car (My mind and body are complete mush as I'm writing this actually...).
Even though I have been extremely exhausted as of late, I feel great about the way things are coming along. This hard work that I have been doing has already produced awesome results. The blinders are on and I'm on a mission. For those of you who know me, you know that this can be a very powerful thing!!!
I just hope that soon the rewards are a little less tiring and painful!
Kyle
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Resisting Temptation
So, I have some news that I am quite proud of.
This past weekend, the LONG weekend in fact (you know, the one I was whining about a couple of posts back) we had the option to have Saturday AND Sunday off. My wish to have some sort of long weekend came true, but surprisingly, I chose to forgo the 2 days off and spend some quality time in the gym!
The reason why this was such a monumental and heart warming occasion was because it really set the stage for my entire week. By making this choice I felt totally empowered. I felt content because I did the right thing.
Sure, having the weekend off and going camping would have been awesome, but it wouldn't have been a productive contribution to my mission. There will be plenty of time for relaxation later, but right now is the time where I need to be thinking, eating and breathing gymnastics.
Why is it that resisting temptation makes a person feel so powerful?
For me, I think it just adds fuel to my "motivation" fire. The more I decide to invest in the process, the more I feel I get in return. When I make an honest choice to go into the gym on an optional day off I feel like I am telling myself and the world that I really do care. That this is a priority and that I recognize it's importance.
Making good choices is a wonderful feeling and going in on Sunday was a super choice. The benefits of this decision have definitely been felt and appreciated by my mind, my body and my spirit. I feel a lot of strength and a lot of belief right now.
This has been an awesome week so far.
K.
This past weekend, the LONG weekend in fact (you know, the one I was whining about a couple of posts back) we had the option to have Saturday AND Sunday off. My wish to have some sort of long weekend came true, but surprisingly, I chose to forgo the 2 days off and spend some quality time in the gym!
The reason why this was such a monumental and heart warming occasion was because it really set the stage for my entire week. By making this choice I felt totally empowered. I felt content because I did the right thing.
Sure, having the weekend off and going camping would have been awesome, but it wouldn't have been a productive contribution to my mission. There will be plenty of time for relaxation later, but right now is the time where I need to be thinking, eating and breathing gymnastics.
Why is it that resisting temptation makes a person feel so powerful?
For me, I think it just adds fuel to my "motivation" fire. The more I decide to invest in the process, the more I feel I get in return. When I make an honest choice to go into the gym on an optional day off I feel like I am telling myself and the world that I really do care. That this is a priority and that I recognize it's importance.
Making good choices is a wonderful feeling and going in on Sunday was a super choice. The benefits of this decision have definitely been felt and appreciated by my mind, my body and my spirit. I feel a lot of strength and a lot of belief right now.
This has been an awesome week so far.
K.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Conquering Fear
Yesterday was the day.
I had been dreading/anticipating this day since the injury occurred.
I knew the day would come. I knew I would have to be strong. I knew I would have to block out the past and focus completely on the present.
Yesterday I landed my first Arabian double pike on the real floor and it felt amazing.
This was a tremendous victory. Maybe more than anyone will ever know.
The last time I did this skill on the real floor was August 27th. It was the day I broke both of my legs and it was on a move very similar to this, hence the anxiety!
Overcoming the fear and facing the challenge made me feel like a hero. It really did.
I was so nervous before doing this skill. I didn't want to let the flashback of Germany and the loud thud of impact creep into my mind, but for a moment they did.
But this day was different. This day I felt like I was more powerful than that memory. I felt like I would be safe. I felt like it was time to pound that fear into the ground...literally. Die Fear, Die!
Now, over the course of the next two months, I am going to have to remove the mats and land this skill solidly on just the floor. But, after jumping over this initial hurdle, I think I'm going to be alright. Small victories have been the key to my progress and I'm gonna keep trying to have them every single day.
You've gotta love a breakthrough!
Kyle
I had been dreading/anticipating this day since the injury occurred.
I knew the day would come. I knew I would have to be strong. I knew I would have to block out the past and focus completely on the present.
Yesterday I landed my first Arabian double pike on the real floor and it felt amazing.
This was a tremendous victory. Maybe more than anyone will ever know.
The last time I did this skill on the real floor was August 27th. It was the day I broke both of my legs and it was on a move very similar to this, hence the anxiety!
Overcoming the fear and facing the challenge made me feel like a hero. It really did.
I was so nervous before doing this skill. I didn't want to let the flashback of Germany and the loud thud of impact creep into my mind, but for a moment they did.
But this day was different. This day I felt like I was more powerful than that memory. I felt like I would be safe. I felt like it was time to pound that fear into the ground...literally. Die Fear, Die!
Now, over the course of the next two months, I am going to have to remove the mats and land this skill solidly on just the floor. But, after jumping over this initial hurdle, I think I'm going to be alright. Small victories have been the key to my progress and I'm gonna keep trying to have them every single day.
You've gotta love a breakthrough!
Kyle
Monday, May 19, 2008
Double Flip
Whoo Hoo. I can finally do DOUBLE flips on the real floor again. Single flips are for losers!!! Just Kidding.
I finally decided that it was time to bust out 2 rotations. My confidence in my legs is growing fast. I feel strong and tight when I punch and the landing only has minimal pain. I think it's just the initial thud that is disheartening. The last time I heard a thud, my legs snapped. Thuds are not good.
Before I took my first turn of a full twisting double back I was super nervous. I didn't know if I would get lost in the air or what the impact on landing would feel like. My heart was pumping, I had that lump in my throat and I was trying to convince the courage to come out of my belly. I took some small, quick breaths and then went for it.
I was super cautious on the first one and so I landed and rolled back. Safety first. But this video below is of my third attempt and it looks pretty good. It was an exciting moment for me!
Now, for Olympics, I am going to have to add one more twist to this AND do it at the end of my routine. No problem. I just have to keep pushing myself and it will come. Not today, not tomorrow...probably not this month, but it will be there when I need it. I trust that.
Kyle
I finally decided that it was time to bust out 2 rotations. My confidence in my legs is growing fast. I feel strong and tight when I punch and the landing only has minimal pain. I think it's just the initial thud that is disheartening. The last time I heard a thud, my legs snapped. Thuds are not good.
Before I took my first turn of a full twisting double back I was super nervous. I didn't know if I would get lost in the air or what the impact on landing would feel like. My heart was pumping, I had that lump in my throat and I was trying to convince the courage to come out of my belly. I took some small, quick breaths and then went for it.
I was super cautious on the first one and so I landed and rolled back. Safety first. But this video below is of my third attempt and it looks pretty good. It was an exciting moment for me!
Now, for Olympics, I am going to have to add one more twist to this AND do it at the end of my routine. No problem. I just have to keep pushing myself and it will come. Not today, not tomorrow...probably not this month, but it will be there when I need it. I trust that.
Kyle
Monday, May 12, 2008
Long Weekend Blues
Today was not a good day. I was thinking too much.
I was thinking too much about Nationals. Too much about Olympics. Too much about the possibility that all of this hard work could end with me not quite making it.
I don't think this way too often. I try to believe that it will all work out in the end. I try to come into the gym with a plan and attack my work. This is the way I like to live life, but today...today was different. I had no love for flips.
I was fixated on the long weekend coming up. As I watched the news this morning and saw the forecast for Calgary (basically sunny and 22-25C all weekend) I got really down. I call it the "long weekend blues". Why you might ask? Why would I get sad when I think of a long weekend? Well, long weekends do not exist when you are preparing for the Olympic Games.
I get so jealous of those who are able to go camping and relax. I get jealous because I can't remember the last time I had this opportunity. 3 days off (eating and drinking the entire time most likely) is a death sentence when you are 14 weeks away from your biggest competition.
I know that I have made this choice and this is what I want to be doing, but I guess things are starting to become a bit monotonous ( same thing, 6 days a week can get old fast) and I am hearing all of the excitement in everyone's voices as they get ramped up for the May long.
I know I am doing something more constructive and so many people would kill to have the opportunities that I have, but sometimes, for a second (or a day!) I wish that I could just rid myself of this commitment and be completely and utterly spontaneous and irresponsible.
I know that I will look back on this post in a day or two and be over it, but I guess I just want to feel sorry for myself for a moment. Gymnastics always wins. It always has and it will continue to trump everything for atleast the next 3 months.
I guess I'm just scared that at the end of this I might look back and wish that I would have relaxed a little more and enjoyed the sunshine...
But, you know what? Come to think of it, September Long is always an option! Actually, I am making the commitment to that RIGHT NOW. I am going camping on September Long. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will keep me from roasting marshmallows, swimming in the river and hiking in the mountains on that weekend.
OK. Feel the Love, Kyle. Don't feel sorry for yourself. This is your choice. There are no more days to waste. Suck it up and be happy that you get to spend the weekend in the gym! Everyone else will come home hungover, tired and sun burnt and I will be strong, fit and further along!
I sometimes swear that I have psychological issues...I have asked Hap if I need to be prescribed something and then he writes me a prescription on his little pads. It always reads, "Breathe, Relax, Chill".
I'm breathing. I'm trying to relax and tonight I'm just gonna chill.
Tomorrow is another day. And I have to work double hard to make up for the pitiful day I had today.
K
I was thinking too much about Nationals. Too much about Olympics. Too much about the possibility that all of this hard work could end with me not quite making it.
I don't think this way too often. I try to believe that it will all work out in the end. I try to come into the gym with a plan and attack my work. This is the way I like to live life, but today...today was different. I had no love for flips.
I was fixated on the long weekend coming up. As I watched the news this morning and saw the forecast for Calgary (basically sunny and 22-25C all weekend) I got really down. I call it the "long weekend blues". Why you might ask? Why would I get sad when I think of a long weekend? Well, long weekends do not exist when you are preparing for the Olympic Games.
I get so jealous of those who are able to go camping and relax. I get jealous because I can't remember the last time I had this opportunity. 3 days off (eating and drinking the entire time most likely) is a death sentence when you are 14 weeks away from your biggest competition.
I know that I have made this choice and this is what I want to be doing, but I guess things are starting to become a bit monotonous ( same thing, 6 days a week can get old fast) and I am hearing all of the excitement in everyone's voices as they get ramped up for the May long.
I know I am doing something more constructive and so many people would kill to have the opportunities that I have, but sometimes, for a second (or a day!) I wish that I could just rid myself of this commitment and be completely and utterly spontaneous and irresponsible.
I know that I will look back on this post in a day or two and be over it, but I guess I just want to feel sorry for myself for a moment. Gymnastics always wins. It always has and it will continue to trump everything for atleast the next 3 months.
I guess I'm just scared that at the end of this I might look back and wish that I would have relaxed a little more and enjoyed the sunshine...
But, you know what? Come to think of it, September Long is always an option! Actually, I am making the commitment to that RIGHT NOW. I am going camping on September Long. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will keep me from roasting marshmallows, swimming in the river and hiking in the mountains on that weekend.
OK. Feel the Love, Kyle. Don't feel sorry for yourself. This is your choice. There are no more days to waste. Suck it up and be happy that you get to spend the weekend in the gym! Everyone else will come home hungover, tired and sun burnt and I will be strong, fit and further along!
I sometimes swear that I have psychological issues...I have asked Hap if I need to be prescribed something and then he writes me a prescription on his little pads. It always reads, "Breathe, Relax, Chill".
I'm breathing. I'm trying to relax and tonight I'm just gonna chill.
Tomorrow is another day. And I have to work double hard to make up for the pitiful day I had today.
K
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)