I realized something this morning: I feel compelled to write most when there is a perceived crisis in my life. If I look back at my personal journal (the pen and paper one…weird, I know) and all of my unpublished blogs, I always come to these outlets when I am trying to solve a problem or make something unforeseen make sense. It's my way of sorting things out, clearing the slate and uncluttering my mind so I can see a bit more clearly and start over with a new perspective.
I love to write. And the truth is, I haven't been writing much lately. There have been many things to share and to write about, I have just been in avoidance mode. I feel like I am in that awkward phase of flipping, twisting and turning after letting go of one trapeze. I am trying to create the next chapter in my career and life (the next bar to grab on to) and as I feel like I am flailing all over the place, not quite knowing what that next bar I'll catch looks like, I tend to retreat rather than share. And this morning I realized that maybe I should do the opposite.
So here I am. Stuck in transition. Trying to create the next thing. Sometimes wishing I could blink my eyes and have the next adventure right in front of me, screaming with purpose. It will come, I know. Panic and worry will not make it come faster. I need to patient. I need to be patient. I need to be patient.
Until things become more clear, I am setting a new goal: I will put more focus on enjoying the process of flipping in between.