Monday, November 24, 2008

Surgical Dressings...and some reflection

I am going in today to get the surgical dressings removed. My leg has been screaming for them to be gone! They are slowly melting away and I am excited to see the new scar that will be present underneath. Call me a masochist if you would like, but there is something exciting about seeing the carnage that exists underneath the bandage.

My leg is feeling pretty good. I have been trying to take it easy and not do too much activity that will aggravate it, but I have also been craving exercise and movement. Last night I did an amazing hot yoga class and although I could feel the dressing peeling away with each bead of sweat that permeated it, it felt incredible to stretch. I came home after the class and felt so invigorated and alive! In fact, I am going to another class tonight because I felt very connected to the world. I had a smile from ear to ear when I got home and, to me, that is pretty darn special.

I have been struggling lately with finding a balance. Some days I feel like I have it all figured out, but then other days I hear the grumble in my head and it starts to drive me a bit nuts. Our thoughts are very powerful. They say that our thoughts cause our actions, our actions lead to our experiences and our experiences become our lives. I want to live a positive, beautiful and remarkable life. I want to be confident, secure and know that I am making a difference. I always strive to be the type of person who radiates positive vibes. I want to be the smile and the embrace that makes everyone around them feel like the world and life in general is brilliant. I feel like, in a way, I have started to let the negative self talk take me away from being this person. I guess we all go through phases of doubt and uncertainty, but I am convinced that loving life and embracing the unknown without preconceived judgment will lead to ultimate happiness.

I am heading to Hawaii on Sunday for 2 weeks of rest and reflection. I need some solitude to start shaping some ideas. I feel like life can get so busy and we can become distracted by all of the "I should Be's". I booked this trip a little while back knowing that I would be feeling this way at this point in the year, especially post surgery and 3 months post Beijing. I have always had a keen understanding of myself and my needs. My ability to trust my gut has led me in a direction that I am very content with. But I have been thinking too much lately about what I should be doing and not about what I want to be doing. This needs to stop. I need to take some time to listen. The only place in the world that I have ever felt epiphanies and utter ease of mind has been in Hawaii. There; life slows down, the mind slows down and directions become more clear.

And I will leave it with that.

Enjoy your day and make sure to breathe, slow down, reflect and appreciate the beauty in your life.



Anonymous said...

you have been through hard times and totally deserve some rest..have a good holiday.
hopefully things will start to clear up once you've had some rest

Maria said...

They say that our thoughts cause our actions, our actions lead to our experiences and our experiences become our lives.

Have you read any Jane Roberts? That sentence leads me to think you'd like her work. "You get what you concentrate upon. There is no other way."

Yes, Bikram yoga is cathartic. Everything bad drips out and you glow. Though I suspect you're more flexible than me. =P

Enjoy your rest and reflection, Kyle. Embrace the beautiful.

Jeremiah Andrews said...

Paulo Coelho wrote a little book called The Alchemist. It's a good read if you need to find yourself.

Another good book is Dan Millman's Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior that takes place on Oahu. Since you are going there, pick up a copy on the way out and read it while you are there.

Pay attention to the omens and the signs. Like you said, you might need some reflection time, no better place than to commune with the Kahunas.

Keep us posted.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

some events often leave us confused about small things in our life; give it time and hang in there, the answers will come.

Anonymous said...

I like your blog. I hope you had a great time in Hawaii...but I'm not sure that it would have been my first choice having seen the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" :)

Dez said...

I Love all your post. eever since I saw you on NBC many months ago. I just Hope all your days are filled with Joy and Happiness. we only have to 24 hours to LIVE them.